The Feeling Of Needing To Make Everyone Happy

The Feeling Of Needing To Make Everyone Happy

And Why It's Nonsense

Simply stated, the concept of needing to make everyone happy is putting everyone else before yourself in a more drastic way. It sounds selfless, right? It’s because it is. But, while you’re trying to be the good guy, your conflicted feelings of who to please and the difficulty of keeping peace eats you alive. Your happiness should always come first, but it’s easier said than done. Here’s why that feeling to please everyone is nonsense, and why making yourself happy is the most necessary.

If you aren’t sure if you are trying to make everyone happy, you can ask yourself a few questions.

Who are you living life for?

If the answer is anyone but yourself, you have a problem. It’s okay to say you live your life inspired by someone, but it’s different when you act because you think a specific person would want to act that way, or you behave just to receive approval from someone. Are you pursuing a career path just because someone asked you to? Did you design your apartment based on your grandma’s wishes? When you decide to do things for yourself, it’s allowing you to learn more about yourself and focus on your true wishes. No matter what, you’ll always have yourself in the end.

What actions have you taken to benefit yourself?

Okay, so maybe you wore a dress that your mom likes, or you ate something that your aunt insisted tasted amazing but was the opposite. If you are doing this on a repeated basis, you’re not benefiting yourself, you’re only benefiting those around you. Of-course, it’s easier to say yes, but when it becomes a pattern of substituting your own wishes to save some hurt feelings, it has gone too far.

Are you a “yes” person?

Do you consistently say yes, no matter how loaded the task? Are you afraid of letting people down? Maybe it’s at work, or maybe it’s with your professors. You want to do everything you possibly can, but, you can only do so much. Did your parents ever use the analogy “well, if ‘(name)’ told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?”. It’s the same idea. You can’t say yes to everything. It’s unhealthy.

The only person you need to worry about making happy is yourself. Not everyone is going to approve of what you do, and that is okay. You don’t need to make everyone happy. If you live your life trying to make everyone else happy, just like I admittedly still do, (I’m in recovery), you’ll drive yourself crazy. It’s almost like an addiction, it’s hard to stop. It’s a trait you can’t just get rid of. I can name a lot of reasons I’m happy, based on things that have happened, or people I’ve met; so can you. I recently found myself the happiest when I stopped caring about what people were going to say. I made a decision, and I ignored the negative things people said. I promise you, the moment I did that, I’ve never been better.

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.


It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.

These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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10 Things We all should have been doing this summer

...but we didn't


Most of us can't believe that 2018 is more than halfway over, but what I can't believe is that summer is nearly over. How did I let the best months of the year go by so quickly? A least I know that I am not alone when I say that I am guilty of not achieving any of the following.

1. Eating healthy

2. Working out to compliment eating healthy

3. Getting tan to look good while being fit

4. Travel to more than just my friends' houses

5. Read lots of books to keep growing my mind during the summer months

6. Take summer classes at a local college to lighten the semester's workload during the year

7. Save every single dollar

8. Spend more time outside than indoors

9. Master a healthy sleep schedule

And last, but not least

10. Binge watch an entire series to have somewhat of an excuse for not achieving any of these things

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Brittany Clark

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