The Feeling Of Needing To Make Everyone Happy

The Feeling Of Needing To Make Everyone Happy

And Why It's Nonsense

Simply stated, the concept of needing to make everyone happy is putting everyone else before yourself in a more drastic way. It sounds selfless, right? It’s because it is. But, while you’re trying to be the good guy, your conflicted feelings of who to please and the difficulty of keeping peace eats you alive. Your happiness should always come first, but it’s easier said than done. Here’s why that feeling to please everyone is nonsense, and why making yourself happy is the most necessary.

If you aren’t sure if you are trying to make everyone happy, you can ask yourself a few questions.

Who are you living life for?

If the answer is anyone but yourself, you have a problem. It’s okay to say you live your life inspired by someone, but it’s different when you act because you think a specific person would want to act that way, or you behave just to receive approval from someone. Are you pursuing a career path just because someone asked you to? Did you design your apartment based on your grandma’s wishes? When you decide to do things for yourself, it’s allowing you to learn more about yourself and focus on your true wishes. No matter what, you’ll always have yourself in the end.

What actions have you taken to benefit yourself?

Okay, so maybe you wore a dress that your mom likes, or you ate something that your aunt insisted tasted amazing but was the opposite. If you are doing this on a repeated basis, you’re not benefiting yourself, you’re only benefiting those around you. Of-course, it’s easier to say yes, but when it becomes a pattern of substituting your own wishes to save some hurt feelings, it has gone too far.

Are you a “yes” person?

Do you consistently say yes, no matter how loaded the task? Are you afraid of letting people down? Maybe it’s at work, or maybe it’s with your professors. You want to do everything you possibly can, but, you can only do so much. Did your parents ever use the analogy “well, if ‘(name)’ told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?”. It’s the same idea. You can’t say yes to everything. It’s unhealthy.

The only person you need to worry about making happy is yourself. Not everyone is going to approve of what you do, and that is okay. You don’t need to make everyone happy. If you live your life trying to make everyone else happy, just like I admittedly still do, (I’m in recovery), you’ll drive yourself crazy. It’s almost like an addiction, it’s hard to stop. It’s a trait you can’t just get rid of. I can name a lot of reasons I’m happy, based on things that have happened, or people I’ve met; so can you. I recently found myself the happiest when I stopped caring about what people were going to say. I made a decision, and I ignored the negative things people said. I promise you, the moment I did that, I’ve never been better.

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What If You're Not Thriving You're Only Surviving?

Someday you'll thrive, but for now you have to just survive.

We’ve all seen the posts. Countless upon countless posts on all social media platforms of millennials saying how they’re #SurvivingNotThriving because of various tiny difficulties in their life. Maybe they didn’t do as well on a test as they were hoping, maybe their favorite brunch place was closed so they had to go to Denny’s instead. Whatever it may be, sometimes it’s overwhelming being on social media and sifting through all of the posts about how life just isn’t going the way that person wants right now. But, what if you are truly not thriving and you’re just merely surviving?

Lately, I have felt like this and not just because of trivial, day to day things. It’s hard to feel like you are genuinely thriving when the thought of getting up out of bed to brush your teeth exhausts you. Every minute of every day that you are not in bed and asleep drains the life out of you, no matter the workload on your plate. I have come to a point in my life where I feel stagnant, stuck and unable to get out of the rut I am currently in - I am the definition of the trendy hashtag. I am not squeezing every last drop out of the beautiful life I have like I should be.

It’s important to remember when you’re in seasons in your life like this, though, there will always be a way to pull yourself out of it. Despite the fact that I continually feel like I’m only surviving, I have hope for the future; a future where I suck the marrow out of life, a future where I fully and completely thrive. If you, too, feel the lowest of the low and that you are only #SurvivingNotThriving - keep the hope, cling to it.

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What Does Your Body Position Say About You?

She seemed to read her presentation off the carpet.

“Margaret, your presentation please,” the teacher announced above the crowd of heads that filled the classroom.

At the sound of her name being called, she stood up and walked with slow, heavy feet to the front of the classroom. While she stood by the Smart Board waiting for her PowerPoint to load, her eyes kept darting at the door.

As she stood there presenting her PowerPoint in a very small voice, her face never changed. Margaret’s mouth stayed in a thin line the entire presentation, her eyebrows furrowed, and she made no eye contact with anyone—just the door, the walls, the ceiling, and mostly the floor. She seemed to read her presentation off the carpet. Along with that, her pale, flushed face looked as though she may even throw up. Her face even had a tint of green to it. She took short, rapid breaths as if to try and hold it down.

Along with her eyes, her head also hung down, creating a small hunch in her upper shoulders and back. Margaret couldn’t stand still. Watching her rock back and forth from one foot to the other took all my attention away from her presentation. Her hands kept moving as well. She had her fingers twisted in a knot and when she would unwind them, they would only get twisted up again. She did, however, take a break from twisting up her fingers by rotating and re-rotating the rings on her fingers.

When Margaret’s presentation finally ended, she bolted back to her seat and sat back down with a loud, heavy sigh.

Cover Image Credit: Eric Ward

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