It was junior year of high school. My then boyfriend is eating with my family a delicious meal of Cuban food. Light conversation is flowing when suddenly, the F-bomb is dropped. No, not that one. The other one. Feminist. The table goes silent, and my boyfriend begins to furiously cut his meat as my mom smiles and tells him, "Your girlfriend is a feminist."
To which he replies "I know" and continues to stare at meat and cut faster.
This is typically what happens when the F-word is dropped. Silence. Awkwardness. Typically, the other person babbling and defensively telling me how they "are not a feminist" but "really appreciate women and believe they can do anything they want to" before quickly trying to change the subjects.
I think a lot of this comes from people's lack of understanding of what being a feminist truly is. No, I do not burn my bras and yes, I do shave my legs (well, sometimes). I'm always surprised when I meet people and they tell me they aren't a feminist, or they act like it's some cult (it's not, I promise). The F-word, feminist or feminsim, brings many reactions forward, most of which aren't positive.
A feminist, according to Dictionary.com is defined as "advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men." Sophia Bush (some of you may know her from "One Tree Hill") stated “What is feminism to me? It’s so not complicated. …I’m a woman, I would like to be judged on the quality of my work, compensated fairly for my work, I would like to have just as much access to healthcare as any man…yeah, that’s pretty much it.”
That's it. That's all. Literally—super easy. Personally, I believe feminism is an incredibly simple topic to grasp. I want fair wages, I want proper and efficient healthcare. I want the same opportunities for a promotion as my co-workers. I want all women to be able to receive an education.
There are a lot of misconceptions about what a feminist is and isn't, so let me help a bit. The have been three waves of feminism, we currently being in the third wave. First-wave feminists fought for the right to vote. The second wave of feminists fought for equal education and job opportunities, as well as reproductive rights. This is the wave that fought to implement Title IX, the federal civil rights law that prohibits sex discrimination in education. The third wave, which is what feminism is currently in, has tried to take an intersectional approach to feminism. What this means is a more inclusive feminist approach that approaches issues regarding different races, classes, sexual identities and ethnic backgrounds. Historically, the face of American feminism has been dominated by white, straight, upper-class women. This third wave is attempting to change that.
So:
1. Feminism is for everyone, regardless of race, sex, gender or ethnicity; it is not only for white women
2. Feminism is about equality between men and women in all aspects; it is not about dominating males or any of that sort.
3. Feminism does not shame women (and men) for taking on traditional gender roles; it does condemn institutions or people for enforcing them, rather than letting the women truly decide for herself.
4. Feminists don’t hate men. 'Nough said.
5. Feminism is about advocating social, political, legal and economic rights for women equal to
The F-word isn't bad and isn't something that needs to be avoided. Feminism is just as much about making sure men have the same rights as women, as making sure that women have the same rights as men. (This is why some feminists are advocating for fathers to be able to have paternity leave, but that's another conversation).
So drop the F-word, because why wouldn't you? Feminism is something that needs to be talked about. So yes, I'll gladly say the F-bomb with pride. I am a feminist because I believe everyone should have the same rights, and I will work to advocate for those rights.
