I used to cringe at the thought of leaving home, but at the same time I was excited to start a new life in a new place like college. When I thought about college, I thought about all the friends I would make, the sorority I would join, and what to wear to football games. In all the chaos of graduating, picking out items for my dorm room, and choosing a roommate, I forgot the things I was leaving behind. I remember lying in bed thinking that it would be fine and it wouldn't really effect me.
Mom and Dad, I remember your telling me not to wish my life away. You told me that growing up wasn't all that it was cracked up to be and you were right. College is great and I love it, but there is a part of me that wonders where my dog is when I walk into my room. There is a part of me that wants to shout from the living room, "Mom, what's for dinner?" I had life so easy before I left and now there is no one to fix all the things that go wrong. It is so hard to go from 18 years of always having someone to suddenly being completely alone.
I know how relieved you are to see my finding my place and my happiness, but not all times are happy. There are times when I need my mom to tell me that it is going to be okay. I am slowly learning how to get passed those moments but it doesn't change the fact that you aren't here.
I want to run home from my test, walk in the door, and tell you that I aced it with no doubt, but you aren't there. My biggest cheerleader is hours away from me. I miss that. I miss being told that I am doing the right things.
I know I don't call very often and I know that I should, but college is crazy. Homework, eating, and sleeping take up my whole life but that doesn't mean I don't think about you. I think about lying on the couch watching movies because that is what Dad loves to do. I think about sitting at the dinner table laughing with you when I am at the dining hall eating something I don't like. I miss you and the food you always made for me.
This weird feeling of disconnect is a hard pill to swallow because I am growing up when I wish I could be a little kid again. I don't even get to argue with you. Trust me. I think about you just as much as you think about me.
I want you to know that I am happy. I love college, the new friends I've made, the sorority I joined, and the dorm I've have made feel like home. This doesn't change the fact that I need you. You are the building blocks to my foundation and without you I couldn't be so successful here. Even though we don't get to see each other everyday I still love you guys to the moon and back and I can't wait to see you. You will always be my home no matter how far away I am. I will always come back to you.
