The Evolution Of Dating

The Evolution Of Dating

And how I fit into it.
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Believe it or not, dating culture hasn’t always revolved around your photos in your Facebook album or the witty one-liners in your Tinder bio. Hard to believe, I know, but it’s true. Dating has evolved so much over the course of even just a few generations; sometimes it’s hard for us to realize that online dating and hook ups aren’t the only way to go about it. However, that is where our society stands now on the subject of dating (for the most part), which is something I’ve been struggling to conform to. So, like any confused college student, I took to Google to help me try and figure out where I may have fit in when it comes to our past dating rituals.

1700s

Let’s start by going way back. I mean, like, way back. Now, most of you reading this probably aren’t going to be jumping at the opportunity to experience what dating was like in the 1700s, but that’s where we’ll start. In the colonial era period, dating wasn’t even called “dating”. Instead, it was referred to by almost everyone as a “courtship,” which usually meant that your family or friends would accompany you on almost all of your dates to judge whether or not the two being matched were suitable for a life together. Hopeless romantic? Want to be in love with your spouse? Oh, that’s too bad. Those things didn’t really exist here.

1800s-1900s

Since then, dating has evolved quite a bit throughout the centuries. Towards the 1800s-1900s, the idea of love and romance was becoming widely popular when it came to choosing a partner or spouse. During this time, couples also experienced huge boundaries between the worlds of men and women. It was often expected that only the male in the relationship be seen in public while women were expected to be much more private and secluded. Surprisingly, this separation created a romantic intrigue among partners.

1920s-1950s

Ever bring a significant other home to your grandma? If so, there’s probably a good chance that she’s asked you if you two are “going steady,” a term that began to rise in the '40s and '50s about couples who were seen together regularly. Oh, by the way, at this point in time we also finally got rid of the term “courting” and instead, “dating” was finally born!

1960s-1970s

Let’s talk about sex, baby. Not really, but during the '60s and '70s is when sex finally started to become publicly recognized as an enjoyable act of love and connection, rather than a hushed taboo. The '70s were also a time of rising equality for men and women as more and more women were asking men on dates, paying for meals and were looked at as having equal responsibilities and individualism as men in the relationship.

1980s-2000s

We’ll start to wrap it up here between the decades of the '80s, '90s and 2000s when dating became much more casual and started to mirror how our culture dates currently. The Internet’s popularity was on the rise and with it, so was online dating. There was less concern with commitment and more focus on relaxed, open relationships that focused more on sex and less on traditional dating rituals.

My personal struggle with dating stems mostly from forcing myself to try to fit into the mold of millennial-age dating — hook-up culture and the lack of exclusivity has been something I’ve been struggling to conform to. So my question to you is: should I have to? When the surrounding world all seems to be so comfortable with this notion of “just talking” or “hanging out” or “hooking up," it’s hard to ignore the fact that those are things I’m just finding myself not fitting in with. For now, my solution is unclear. I think that my confusion is understandable given the drastic changes that our dating culture has endured, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish it was there.
Cover Image Credit: Google Images

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Christian Boys Vs. Godly Men

It is time to stop settling for the lesser of the two.
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Ladies, there is a huge difference between a Christian boy and a Godly man; therefore, it is time to stop settling for the lesser of the two.

So many times I hear girls saying:

“Well, he’s a Christian.”

“He goes to church with me.”

“He listens to Christian music.”

“He went to church camp.”

“He has a favorite bible verse.”

SEE ALSO: What An Attractive Man Looks Like

Well, all of those things are just peachy and there is nothing wrong with doing those things. I mean, they’re all good things to do. But how is his personal relationship with God? How is his prayer life? Does he talk about his relationship with God, with you? Is he truly a follower of the one true God in all aspects of his life? These are some of the characteristics you should be looking for that makes a Godly man.

Ladies, a man will love you great when he loves God greater.

A Godly man will pursue an honest relationship with you. He will be clear of his intentions. A Godly man will worship, pray and passionately praise God with you. Whereas, a Christian boy might open the door for you, a Godly man will open his bible and explore God’s word with you so that you both may grow spiritually, together. While a Christian boy may put on an outward show, a Godly man will live out the love of Jesus daily.

So ladies, are you catching on to this ongoing trend? A Godly man does more because you deserve more.

A Godly man will be a leader. Trust me, I know that in today’s society Godly men are few and far between while Christian boys come in plenty. But you deserve a man who is after God’s heart not just a boy who goes to church. And I know that this Christian boy may seem great and have some really stellar qualities at the time but money and looks fade, whereas, an ongoing love for our savior will not.

The greatest thing a man can do for a woman is to lead her closer to God than himself. (Yes, yes, yes).

SEE ALSO: As Christians, Life Isn't Supposed To Be Hard

So I beg of you, do not settle. Do not settle just because you’re tired of being single, it’s convenient or because you want the relationship your friend has. Single does not equal available and a relationship status does not define you. God uses your season of singleness to prepare you for what is to come. And if you’re dating a Christian boy, he needs to step it up or you need to move on. Wait for a Godly man who is ready to lead you. God’s timing is always better, always. No matter the circumstance. So, do not rush God. (I mean, He is, after all, pretty good at His job). Therefore, turn your full focus to Him and He will direct your path.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

Cover Image Credit: Christina Sharp

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Is Social Media Killing Romance?

In a modern era filled with technology, are the communication outlets we rely on destroying our ability to connect?

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I have always been a girl that has been stereotypically obsessed with romance novels and movies. Honestly, I enjoy the concept of romance in and of itself. I have always dreamed of a passionate, deep romance of my own complete with a meet-cute, dates, and affection. However, it seems as though the concept of romance has skewed dramatically as social media continues to flourish.

So many romance movies are shifting to acknowledge how time-consuming social media is in teenagers lives. Even so, social media seems to be such a minuscule part of the relationships while, in reality, social media outlets tend to be a major form of communication in our society.

It seems as though our entire lives are digital and relationships are no exceptions. Meeting people the "old fashioned way" is almost obsolete now thanks to dating apps and other mediums of communication. We seem to be taking away the basis of relationships; intimacy and connection.

Additionally, social media has been detrimental, especially pertaining to self-esteem and self-image. Social media allow self-scrutinization to become the norm. Comparison is almost a reflex while scrolling through social media so why would romance and relationships be any different? Social media can create ridiculous expectations for relationships. Apps like Instagram are a media for sharing the best of your life, so everyone seems to have a perfect life on there. These expectations and comparisons seem to be a deteriorating factor for relationships.

Another phenomenon that I have noticed, thanks to social media, is that meeting people is easier than ever. This is not a bad thing per se. However, since it is so easy, it seems that all the effort is gone. Flirting with someone who "slid into your DMs" is exponentially easier than flirting with someone in real life. Apps like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are simple methods to communicate and therefore, our communication has become simple.

Hookup culture is another thing that has become increasingly popular with the rise of social media. According to statistics, correlation does not imply causation but, at least to me, it seems that there are entirely too many aspects in common for them to not be related. Since communication is exponentially easier, so have "booty calls." Late night texts. or "snaps" have diminished the chase and allowed for actual relationships to be foreign to our generation.

In conclusion, social media has provided us with an unbelievable amount of benefits. However, it also may be draining our generation of connection and emotion. It seems as though social media has driven us into an age of simplicity and complacency.

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