The Ever-Changing Circle
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Ever-Changing Circle

What I learned from hitting rock bottom in friend universe.

5
The Ever-Changing Circle
Tess Hanson Personal Photo

Good friends are essential to surviving school, but what if all the friends you had suddenly disappeared?

Losing friends can start at any age. For me, it started in middle school.

I had two really close friends: Hattie and Hannah. They were twins and we would be with each other almost every day. When I visited New York City, I even brought back t-shirts for us all to wear. We wore them on the same day and were styled identically in an effort to look like a uniform group. As middle school started coming to an end, another girl wanted to be our friend and I didn't think anything of it, but I should have realized four was a crowd. I began to realize Hattie, Hannah, and I were drifting apart when the fourth girl came in the picture, but my mom thought I was just jealous I didn't have the two of them to myself anymore. I had a tendency to get jealous of other people because I wasn't the center of attention, but I wasn't going to tell my mom something she already knew.

The summer before high school was okay. Hattie, Hannah, and I were still intact and I had started to like the other girl more and accepted that she was now in our group of friends. Overall, the summer before high school was pretty fun because I hadn't realized I was slowly starting to lose my friends. When high school finally arrived, things got off to a rocky start. Like most close-knit groups, we started to go our separate ways, but fought like hell to still hang out with each other. As freshmen year progressed, I found myself drifting further and further away from Hattie and Hannah. A few weeks later, I felt completely removed from my core group of friends and found myself being replaced by the girl who wanted to be our friend in middle school. I was heartbroken, angry at this girl, and didn't know where to go. I felt like I had hit rock bottom in Best Friend Universe because Hattie and Hannah weren't my best friends anymore.

High school came and went. I hadn't spoken to Hattie or Hannah for more than a few minutes for four years. I kept telling myself college would be an opportunity for a fresh start.

And a fresh start it was.

On move-in day, I met my freshman year roommate for the first time and befriended some awesome girls on my floor, so things were going better than I could have imagined. I quickly became friends with Paige, Kayla, and Rachael -- I really liked them, and we had a lot of similar interests. As freshmen year continued, I found myself becoming friends with Jessup, Irene, and many other people, but I still thought about Hattie and Hannah often.

The summer before my sophomore year of college, Paige and Kayla decided to transfer schools so there I was again with friends leaving, and I couldn't do anything to make them stay.

My sophomore year of college was probably one of the best years of my life. I joined a sorority, moved to a new house on campus, got a new roommate who I adored, and made so many new friends. After joining the sorority, I didn't really think about Hattie or Hannah anymore, because I had new friends who were happy to have me and accepted me for who I was. I didn't have to put up a wall around them. I went from being heartbroken about losing my two closest friends to finding so many new best friends. I thought life wouldn't get any better after drifting away from Hattie and Hannah, but it did. I was scared I wouldn't find anybody else who would accept me for me, but after a few years of searching, I finally found where I belong.

Although I have found a community of girls who like and accept me for who I am I still wonder what went wrong in my friendship with Hattie and Hannah. As I have grown older I have started to think about that situation more and more, but not out of anger or jealously like I once had, but out curiosity. It is mind-boggling to me how some friendships can last forever and others fall apart at the seam. I wonder what went wrong, or if I could have changed the outcome, but the truth of the matter is I see why my friendship failed: I was changing and they weren't. I had unconsciously decided to spread my wings and change my circle. It wasn't the other girls fault that my friendship with Hattie and Hannah crumbled faster than it should have, it was my fault. I was changing for the better and thought it was someone else's actions that resulted in me losing my two best friends when I was changing my circle. When I think about it it's funny how often circles of friends change and while I have found my new core group of friends I hope Hattie and Hannah have found a new core group of friends too.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

182971

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1638166

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

1026245
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

932312
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

609122
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

391946
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

504152

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments