You changed me. I transformed into someone that I wanted to be, then I looked beside me and you were gone. I loved you. I cared for you. No, I’m not speaking of boyfriends or girlfriends, but the friends that you spent nights that turned into the mornings with. The ones that saw your awkward years, obsessive crushes and life-shattering moments. Yes, romantic interests slip from our fingers, but a loss of a friendship hurts even more.
Childhood best friends just click together. It’s seamless, effortless, and finite. Years ago, my friend and I would sing the Fergie classic “Meet Me Halfway” when we wanted to hang out. We lived a block away from each other, and I would meet her at the bush by my neighbor’s house. She went to my new years parties, I came over on holidays and we became a package deal. But soon, we drifted and became separate entities. We no longer met at my neighbor’s house. We hardly met up at all. Visits became less and less frequent, and we started to meet new friends — it all happened so fast. One minute we were inseparable, and the next we were two eighteen-year-old girls and two very different people.
Sure, we'd fought before we realized we had become complete strangers. We both felt replaced, but that is what happens. Sometimes best friends stop clicking. The activities we were interested in didn’t click anymore. High school came, challenged us to rise and we failed. We both felt used, neglected and eventually forgotten. When we were growing up, which we are still in the process of, we couldn’t be friends. The ugly truth is that our friendship couldn’t survive in such a tumultuous time plagued with change.
My childhood best friend knows who she is, but I think this advice fits for everyone. We grew up and then we grew apart. It happens, but something stings when it happens to the person you planned your years with. We spent nights talking over microwave meals about what apartment we would have. Having no concept of rent or bills, of course, it was a luxurious place. I treasure this ignorance because it was bliss. When we were friends, I wasn’t thinking about college. I was thinking about who to invite to my thirteenth birthday party and, of course, what I would wear to impress my crush.
In the end, treasure the moments you had with your childhood best friend. They matter just as much as the new memories. Although I love and cherish my current best friends, I find myself cursing the girl waiting for her best friend halfway. My past self allowed a friendship to slip through her fingers because of the future she imagined. The one that got away is the one I saw grow up in front of my eyes, the one that I talked to in coveted whispers during sleepovers and the one that might be reading this right now.
