Ladies, let’s get real for a second.
Having a Pinterest wedding board is pretty common these days. Even as a little kid I’m sure that most of us can remember dreaming about our “someday.” A lot of my female friends (and I’m sure even some of my guy friends, no shame in that) are often caught pinning about their future big day.
Recently within the last semester I’ve bothered to learn how to actually use Pinterest and slowly found myself looking up things to hide away on my private board entitled: For the person who will tolerate me for forever. I know right, super original.
Before March I had no idea there were names for different cuts of diamond rings or styles of wedding dresses and slowly I have come to learn them all. I know what type of wedding dress I want to wear someday and I know 372 ways to create the cutest table centerpieces and I’ve started to realize that there could potentially be a real issue with that.
First things first: I have no plans to get married at all in the next couple of years. I’m not in a place where I should be discerning this type of commitment with anyone and none of my friends are getting married anytime soon either. There’s literally no reason I should be spending time on Pinterest planning for a wedding in the unforeseeable future.
Here’s the thing, every time I’m being a Pinterest zombie I’m not being present to the relationships that I am in. It’s not something I like to admit to myself. I don’t like to be humbled, it's one of my very least favorite things. I love to look at pretty bouquets and bridesmaid dresses but it's no good for me or for my emotions to be thinking about something that’s not even on my radar.
Basically what I’m getting at is that if you aren’t planning on getting married anytime soon there’s no reason for you to begin planning your wedding. You’re just dangling the idea of a forever relationship right in front of your face and it's not super healthy for you, or the person that you’re dating, or will be dating in the future, because somewhere in the back of your mind you’re fitting your someone into the leading role of your someday.
It’s important to be present in your relationships, even if you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life yet. The idea of having your entire wedding planned before there’s a ring on your finger is ridiculous. The average engagement is 14 months, that’s plenty of time to waste on Pinterest and to get excited about what’s to come. If you’re doing a good chunk of planning beforehand then what’s the point of an engagement anyways?
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a difference about getting excited to get married someday and this sort of emotional unchastity, if you will, that Pinterest creates. However, I am of the opinion that it’s unnecessary to save pin after pin for a day that isn’t even on the calendar yet. What we should be more obsessed with is letting God plan who you’re going to marry, not Pinterest. If you want to get a headstart on table centerpieces then be my guest, just don’t let your mind get wrapped up in something that isn’t yet a reality.
