With Halloween sneaking up on us, what better way to get into the spirit than to visit a spooky house? Even if you have your eyes closed the entire time, you have to go at least once. Here are the emotional stages that you are likely to go through and the internal commentary to go with it.
1. The Excited Stage
As the line gets closer to the door you started to get butterflies (or cobwebs) in your stomach, even if you won't admit it. You keep your cool but on the inside you're just ready to get in there.
2. The Reassurance Stage
It's time to go in now. You got this. You're fine. You're in college for gosh's sake.
3.The Bargaining Stage
This isn't so bad. Black lights? Cool effect. Fake spiderwebs (that get in your face as you walk through the first doorway)? Nice try, Satan. This isn't scary at all. I'll be out before I know it. Alright but this clown looks rather menacing... Don't make eye contact, keep moving, we're fine.
4. The Maybe A Little Scared Stage
There's someone right behind me. They won't stop until I acknowledge them. I'm not looking. Oh what a pretty graveyard! I will not look. I LOOKED. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
5. The Rationalization Stage
You know what, you're fine. They are all people in costumes just doing their job. Breathe. Don't let this defeat you. Stay strong. It's not real, I mean accidents happen, but it's not real.
6. The Irrational, Terrified Stage
It seems like 10 things just jumped out at once and I'm not convinced that's a fake chainsaw. Are they allowed to touch me? No this isn't fun anymore. I want out now!
7. The Relief Stage
You enter the vortex tunnel and and know that can only mean one thing: there's a light at the end of it. The end is near and you take comfort in that fact. You may not be able to walk straight through here, but I'll take dizziness over fear any day.
8. The Relaxed Stage
You have to go out into the world now, keep your cool. You could definitely tell those ghosts were fake. I totally wasn't scared at all.
