The Double Standard: Men, Women And Sexual Freedom

The Double Standard: Men, Women And Sexual Freedom

How society views men and women differently in regards to sexual freedom and losing their virginity.

Looking back to the early 19th century, it is safe to say that women have come a long way in society. From getting the right to vote, to being at least more so accepted in the workplace, activists have began to close the societal gap between men and women. Although women have made these leaps and bounds, there are, however, still several double standards that taint the millennial woman starting from the time when she is an early teenager. One of the biggest being the double standard of women losing their virginity and sleeping with multiple partners, verses the standard that goes towards the millennial man.

When a young man enters his mid-teens, and starts saying that he wants to have sex, it is too common for his friends/older siblings to be encouraging of the fact, celebrating the big day when it finally happens. Further, if a man who is 20-years-old tells someone that he lost his virginity at 15 and has slept with 20 plus women since then, he may be looked at as a player. However, if a woman were to tell a new partner that, she would be looked at as getting around too much and most likely be thought of as a slut. In reverse, if a woman is about to sleep with a man and she knows that he has most likely slept around a bit, for the most part, there will not be a problem with his past, nor after will she tell her friends that he is one big man whore. This creates an extreme double standard, as women are expected to be achievable and good in bed, however also have a low body count.

But why is society posed to think this way, putting women down for being sexually independent, while being accepting of men? In my opinion, I think it goes back to an older way of thinking that has more of a religious/traditional base. Looking back at the start of the 19th century, women were expected to remain pure and untouched until they were given away by their fathers at the alter. The man they were marrying, most certainly was not always expected to be pure, however the woman most always was. As society is still ever changing, this view has transferred onto common society, however changing slightly. Today, certainly more women do not choose to wait till marriage to lose their virginity, which if it is their personal choice to wait, is more than alright and should be respected. However, people expect them to keep their numbers low.

What if these views were reversed and men were discouraged for losing their virginity and getting their numbers too high, and women were the only ones who were expected to be sexually independent and free. How would that change society and social standards? In my opinion, sex is about being intimate with who a person chooses to be and owning one's own body. Sex has and always will be a personal decision. Therefore, I do not think that society should put females or males down for deciding who and how many people they choose to sleep with. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that everyone should sleep around a lot or lose their virginity early, as some people do choose to wait and that is respectable. However, if society stopped putting women at a different standard that what men are, we would move even further towards having a society of equality, rather than a society of double standards.

Cover Image Credit: Paullus23/Deviantart

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Empowering Mantras That Soothe The Soul

Learn and repeat these mantras to center yourself.

January is the month of change. We can decide to change at any time during the year, but the start of the new year pushes us to be our best self. If you have something you want to stop, or start doing, now is the time. As I sit in Spain far away from my family, friends, and peanut butter (which is shockingly impossible to find in Spain), I’m confronted with a new challenge and a new opportunity to grow. Although studying abroad is an incredible opportunity and I am more than grateful, I would be lying if I said there aren’t moments of crying in the shower and longing for my body pillow at home (his name is Maxwell and he is pink, and no, I’m not pregnant).

Whenever I get overwhelmed I find it extremely helpful to stop, take a deep breath (or sixty) and repeat calming mantras to myself until the feeling passes. Mantras can be words or sentences and phrases that you can repeat to yourself anytime, although traditionally they have been used during meditation. The goal is to help focus the mind internally and block out any external distractions. It helps to center you and mentally decongest. Scientifically, the benefits are incredible.

The repetition of mantras have been linked to a decrease in heart rate, brain waves and the ability to slow down breathing.

“I am enough”

Fake it till you make it. Believe it or not, say it over and over again. We are what we think, so think positive.

“This too shall pass”

Life goes on even when you think it can’t. We have to experience the peaks and valleys to live a full life. Remember that in a bad moment, it will pass and a new feeling will replace it. And treasure and revel in the good moments because you know what you have overcome and what you may face in the future.

“I am grateful”

Your nail breaks, you spill your coffee, you tumble down a flight of stairs. Plenty of things happen throughout our days that may cloud our overall perception. Challenge yourself in those negative moments to list three events or people you may have overlooked that made your day brighter. Gratitude literally alters the way our brains process our emotions and thoughts and the best part is that we are in control of making our thoughts positive.

“Let it Be”

Time and time again we learn this lesson. It is what it is, what will be will be. That’s not to say it’s always a graceful moment of acceptance, but there’s a certain freedom in knowing that so many things are out of our control.

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5 Must Things To Do During Second Semester

Looking for things to do during this winter season? This list has got you covered.

For many of us who have just started our second semester, or are about to, the stress of college is about to come at you full force and smack you in the face. Personally, I find second semester to be much more difficult compared to first semester.

First semester is filled with tailgates, football games, hayrides, pumpkin patches, Thanksgiving, Halloween, the list can go on and on. Due to the fact that there's so many more activities to do first semester than second, that can lead to a semi-dull second semester. With that being said however, here's a list of things you can do to prevent all that boredom.

1. Go to other sporting events that your college offers you

College sports are one of the best parts of living in America so you might as well take full advantage of them. Even though football season may be over, hockey and basketball season are in full swing right now. Also, by end of March and beginning of April, baseball will start as well. Going to games as a student is a great way to have fun with your friends while not having to bust open the piggy bank.

2. Pajama and movie nights

A simple enough idea, but has the potential to have tons of fun if you decide to give it your all. During the winter, especially up north, it can be brutally cold so staying inside is priority majority of the time. But that doesn't mean there's not a way to enjoy all that cold.

Curl up with your best friends whether it be in your dorm room or apartment while showing off the funniest or best pajamas you own. Pick out your favorite movies and settle down for a night full of laughter, gossip, and memories.

3. Enjoy the outdoors

Even though I just said that winters up north can be brutally, there's still plenty to offer when it comes to enjoying the great outdoors. Go ice skating and watch all of your friends struggle to stay upright and fall down, or go skiing/snowboarding and enjoy the beauty of the snow while getting a great workout in.

Or, you could be like my friends and steal dining hall food trays and use those to sled down some hills. Having these options can help you look forward to the winter and enjoy activities other than staying inside.

4. Go to a museum

Learning about different cultures or parts of history can be a lot more fascinating than people would like to admit. Go to your local college museum and check out cool facts there or drive to a city around you to check out other museums as well. If you're close to a moderate to large city, you will usually be able to find a history museum, aquarium, or some type of science museums. These are fun ways to learn new facts about the past, present, and future of our world.

5. Day trip

Spontaneous (or not spontaneous) day trips can be a blast with your friends or significant other. Choose a random place to go and drive there. Find something to do wherever you go. You'll make some great memories that'll last you a lifetime. It doesn't even have to be far, it can be only 30 minutes away and still be just as fun. Where the destination is doesn't matter, it's who you're going with that matters.

I hope these 5 ideas of what to do in the winter will help you enjoy your second semester of college while still having as much as first semester. After all, you're only in college for four years, so take advantage of everything you can do while you can!

Cover Image Credit: Maddie Blank

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