The Double Standard: Men, Women And Sexual Freedom

The Double Standard: Men, Women And Sexual Freedom

How society views men and women differently in regards to sexual freedom and losing their virginity.
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Looking back to the early 19th century, it is safe to say that women have come a long way in society. From getting the right to vote, to being at least more so accepted in the workplace, activists have began to close the societal gap between men and women. Although women have made these leaps and bounds, there are, however, still several double standards that taint the millennial woman starting from the time when she is an early teenager. One of the biggest being the double standard of women losing their virginity and sleeping with multiple partners, verses the standard that goes towards the millennial man.

When a young man enters his mid-teens, and starts saying that he wants to have sex, it is too common for his friends/older siblings to be encouraging of the fact, celebrating the big day when it finally happens. Further, if a man who is 20-years-old tells someone that he lost his virginity at 15 and has slept with 20 plus women since then, he may be looked at as a player. However, if a woman were to tell a new partner that, she would be looked at as getting around too much and most likely be thought of as a slut. In reverse, if a woman is about to sleep with a man and she knows that he has most likely slept around a bit, for the most part, there will not be a problem with his past, nor after will she tell her friends that he is one big man whore. This creates an extreme double standard, as women are expected to be achievable and good in bed, however also have a low body count.

But why is society posed to think this way, putting women down for being sexually independent, while being accepting of men? In my opinion, I think it goes back to an older way of thinking that has more of a religious/traditional base. Looking back at the start of the 19th century, women were expected to remain pure and untouched until they were given away by their fathers at the alter. The man they were marrying, most certainly was not always expected to be pure, however the woman most always was. As society is still ever changing, this view has transferred onto common society, however changing slightly. Today, certainly more women do not choose to wait till marriage to lose their virginity, which if it is their personal choice to wait, is more than alright and should be respected. However, people expect them to keep their numbers low.

What if these views were reversed and men were discouraged for losing their virginity and getting their numbers too high, and women were the only ones who were expected to be sexually independent and free. How would that change society and social standards? In my opinion, sex is about being intimate with who a person chooses to be and owning one's own body. Sex has and always will be a personal decision. Therefore, I do not think that society should put females or males down for deciding who and how many people they choose to sleep with. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that everyone should sleep around a lot or lose their virginity early, as some people do choose to wait and that is respectable. However, if society stopped putting women at a different standard that what men are, we would move even further towards having a society of equality, rather than a society of double standards.

Cover Image Credit: Paullus23/Deviantart

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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I’m Glad I Waited Until I Was An Adult Before Learning To Drive

I really had no need for my driver’s license when I was sixteen.

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I recently started learning how to drive and so far, it's been okay. I mean, I think it's been okay, but my mom may or may not have a different opinion.

Anyway, I decided not to get my license when I was 16. That was completely my decision. I live someplace where every place I needed to go was in walking distance. Literally, the old school was right down the street and I can see the new school from my house. And since that was the only place I was going to was high school, I was perfectly content with using my two God-given legs to get there. I also go to college where I get access to public transportation (which is awesome, I love public transportation).

But now that I'm older, not driving is getting more inconvenient. I mean, I can't just go home and visit my mom and sister whenever I feel like it during the school year because my hometown is a two and a half hour drive from Cleveland and public transport to the middle of nowhere isn't a thing. I'm also planning on moving into an apartment next year, so I'm going to have to be able to drive to get to school, go to work, get groceries, and other things like that.

That being said, I'm perfectly content with my decision to wait to drive.

For one, I don't have to pay for gas or insurance or car maintenance. I also don't have to spend hundreds of dollars on a parking pass for school (which saves me money on tuition) and I don't have to worry about parking in Downtown Cleveland (if you've ever been to Cleveland, you'd know parking is horrendous).

Some people tell me about all the “freedom" I would have had if I had gotten my license in high school, but in all honesty, it's not like I would've gone wherever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. After all, my mom, my sister, and I have had the conversation about, “Just because you can drive, doesn't mean you're taking the car whenever you want."

Besides, it's not like I'm suddenly going to galavant all over Hell and Creation just because I'm an adult. I have school and I'll have a job in the fall. I'll have responsibilities. I'm also living on-campus again and not planning on taking a car with me because I don't want to buy a parking pass and worry about someone breaking into the car (because it's Downtown Cleveland and that's always a possibility, even though I know better than to keep anything valuable just sitting in plain sight - I'm still a very paranoid person when it comes to things like that).

I mean, I plan on having my license before winter (ideally before I even start fall semester, but I know that might be pushing it). But I don't really feel like I missed out on anything by not getting my license the second I turned 16. In fact, I feel that it's better that I waited because I am way more mature now than I was at sixteen.

The fact that I'm more mature — which means I have a better understanding of the responsibility of driving — and have saved money is why I'm glad I waited until I was an adult to start learning how to drive.

Cover Image Credit:

Pexels

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