The Double Standard: Men, Women And Sexual Freedom

The Double Standard: Men, Women And Sexual Freedom

How society views men and women differently in regards to sexual freedom and losing their virginity.

Looking back to the early 19th century, it is safe to say that women have come a long way in society. From getting the right to vote, to being at least more so accepted in the workplace, activists have began to close the societal gap between men and women. Although women have made these leaps and bounds, there are, however, still several double standards that taint the millennial woman starting from the time when she is an early teenager. One of the biggest being the double standard of women losing their virginity and sleeping with multiple partners, verses the standard that goes towards the millennial man.

When a young man enters his mid-teens, and starts saying that he wants to have sex, it is too common for his friends/older siblings to be encouraging of the fact, celebrating the big day when it finally happens. Further, if a man who is 20-years-old tells someone that he lost his virginity at 15 and has slept with 20 plus women since then, he may be looked at as a player. However, if a woman were to tell a new partner that, she would be looked at as getting around too much and most likely be thought of as a slut. In reverse, if a woman is about to sleep with a man and she knows that he has most likely slept around a bit, for the most part, there will not be a problem with his past, nor after will she tell her friends that he is one big man whore. This creates an extreme double standard, as women are expected to be achievable and good in bed, however also have a low body count.

But why is society posed to think this way, putting women down for being sexually independent, while being accepting of men? In my opinion, I think it goes back to an older way of thinking that has more of a religious/traditional base. Looking back at the start of the 19th century, women were expected to remain pure and untouched until they were given away by their fathers at the alter. The man they were marrying, most certainly was not always expected to be pure, however the woman most always was. As society is still ever changing, this view has transferred onto common society, however changing slightly. Today, certainly more women do not choose to wait till marriage to lose their virginity, which if it is their personal choice to wait, is more than alright and should be respected. However, people expect them to keep their numbers low.

What if these views were reversed and men were discouraged for losing their virginity and getting their numbers too high, and women were the only ones who were expected to be sexually independent and free. How would that change society and social standards? In my opinion, sex is about being intimate with who a person chooses to be and owning one's own body. Sex has and always will be a personal decision. Therefore, I do not think that society should put females or males down for deciding who and how many people they choose to sleep with. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that everyone should sleep around a lot or lose their virginity early, as some people do choose to wait and that is respectable. However, if society stopped putting women at a different standard that what men are, we would move even further towards having a society of equality, rather than a society of double standards.

Cover Image Credit: Paullus23/Deviantart

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Success Is Great, But Failure Is Better

Fail and fail often.

Don’t let success get to your head, but don’t let failure get to your heart. Know that things don’t always work out as planned, and that is OK!

For many millennials, it’s easiest to just give up when something doesn’t go your way. But take heart. Success is great, but failure is better. The reality is, you’re going to fail... a lot.

Failure does not mean your idea was not good or that your dream isn’t valid.

Failure means you have more to learn.

Failure is GOOD.

It shows you that you did something wrong and that you need to take a redirection. It’s an opportunity to come back stronger with a better attack plan. It’s a second chance.

Having failed many times in my life, there’s one thing for sure: failing sucks. It sucks being disappointed. It sucks not succeeding on the first try. However, you can learn to become a good failure.

Failing is inevitable, which is why it is important to learn from our mistakes. You’ll learn more from a single failure than a lifetime of success. Here’s what you can do when you mess up: accept what you can’t change, keep an open mind, maintain a positive attitude, and know that nothing will be perfect.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was on an engineering team at my school. I was extremely confident in our abilities as a team, so when we didn’t advance to the world finals, I was devastated. The next year, however, my team placed second at the national competition, and we advanced to the world finals. If I had allowed that initial failure to consume me, I wouldn’t have been successful the next year.

It was not easy to advance to the world finals, but because I took my previous failure as a learning opportunity, my team succeeded. I knew I couldn’t change the past, so I didn’t focus on it. I kept an open mind about the competition and did not allow my bitterness to harden me, thus maintaining a positive attitude. My team wasn’t perfect, and I knew that. But I knew if we worked hard, we would succeed. We did.

Every failure is feedback on how to improve. Nothing works unless you do, and nothing works exactly the way you want it to. Failure is life’s greatest teacher; it’s nothing to be scared of. If we are so focused on not failing, we will never succeed.

So fail, and fail often.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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7 Things English Majors Go Through

Yes, I'm an English major. No, I'm not throwing away my education.

I love being an English major.

And no -- I'm not lying.

While I do advocate for womxn in tech and the rise of STEM majors, my heart belongs to the humanities and more importantly: English Literature.

Here are some of the things as an English Major that I have experienced:

1. So... Do you wanna be a teacher?

As an English Major, my sole purpose of getting my degree is not to just become a teacher. I also want to be a writer. Get it right. I also want to be a teacher, though, so...

2. Writer's Block

Writer's block = hell unleashed. My brain is my most valued. My heart, too, but my brain is what helps me actually write my essays and poems. When my brain isn't working, I'm not working, and with those two not working -- I'm not getting anything done.

3. Having Friends Ask You To Edit Their Papers

My mood 24/7 when people ask me to edit their papers. I'm working on my own, leave me alone. Seriously though, I know I'm an English major, but there's a reason why office hours were created -- but if you REALLY need my editing/revising, pay up.

4. Reading "Whatever" Literature

There are some great works that I love reading (Frankenstein, Great Expectations, Dr. J & Mr. H, etc). But if I'm forced to read another book that EVERYONE has "read" and ends with the classic patriarchal ending -- I'd rather not. Give me some more Mary Shelley, please.

5. Reading AMAZING Literature

OK BUT WHEN THE CLASS READS SOMETHING LIKE MRS. DALLOWAY -- I AM SO HAPPY (I love you, V.W). But, honestly, I love most literature (especially classics). It's only with very few works that I'm upset with reading. (50 Shades of Grey? Blegh.)

6. Getting Trash-Talked About Your Major

OkAy, SuSaN, I get that you're happy with being in the business school, but frankly I don't care, so don't worry about me or my major. We, English majors, get trash-talked about our majors. Back in the day, our major was considered noble and great -- and now it's considered as "throwing away our education".

7. Knowing that We Chose the Right Major

In my experience in college so far, I've met very few -- actually no one who has changed their major from English Lit/CRTWRT. (Disclaimer: I'm sure there are some?) But those of us who stayed with this major know that we chose the right path for ourselves. While our friends in STEM, Business, etc. are "having fun" with their path, we get to read our favorite works, write, and appreciate the arts. So... who's the real winner? ;)

Cover Image Credit: Study Breaks

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