Do: Reassure them.
Someone with anxiety will ask you the same questions over and over. Simple questions, ones you think they should already know the answer to. “You still love me don’t you?” It seems like such a small, stupid question, but there’s a war going on in their head. Be calm and reassure them that you love them more than anything.
Don't: Get annoyed with them.
Don’t roll your eyes when they ask you simple things. Again, the war they’re fighting with themselves isn’t an easy one. Don’t be an ass and make it worse.
Do: Be there when they need you.
Anxiety can be really crappy. It comes when it’s least expected. The day can be going great and boom - something is wrong, something is going on, something is not right. Everything can be in ruins and the last thing someone needs is to feel alone.
Don't: Think that the feeling will pass.
There’s no set time when the terrible feeling will go away, but you can’t just assume that it will soon. Don’t leave their side, even if they tell you to.
Do: Listen to them.
Listen to understand, don’t just hear what they’re saying to have a reply. Nine times out of 10, whatever you say to them is going to be stuck in their brain forever.
Don't: Take what they say lightly.
With anxiety, conversations aren’t always breezy. They’ve probably had what they’re saying mapped out 10 different ways before any words even leave they mouth.
Do: Say the right things, in the right way.
Anxiety makes you feel like everything isn’t fine, and it’s not going to be OK. However, the most effective way to help is letting someone embrace what’s giving them trouble.
Don't: Use cliche expressions.
Don't say blatant things like, “Everything is fine” or, “It’s going to be OK.” Great expressions, but not the most helpful. Saying things like this won’t do much because no one is going to believe it.
Do: Keep positive.
Distract them from whatever has got them down. Anxiety can often feed off of more negativity, so keeping the conversation or situation in the dumps can be dangerous.
Disclaimer: Distracting them with a good time is important, but it’s crucial you don’t encourage things like going out for a drink or drinking to get their mind off of things. Obviously, alcohol can have its negative effects, but to someone with anxiety, it can lead to worsening their troubles in the long run and can lead to addiction.
Don't: Compare what they’re going through to anything.
Avoid saying things like, “Yeah, I’m stressed out too.” This is sort of like saying “Everything is going to be OK.” It’s not really helpful and it won’t make your loved one feel better. Also, saying things like this can make them feel like their problems are unimportant. You want them to feel like they can open up to you. Create a positive environment for them, not one that they’re afraid of.
Do: Understand how anxiety works.
It’s not something that can be easily controlled. Know that your loved ones aren’t choosing to feel the way they do. They’re probably wishing they could be different so they don’t have to burden others with their problems.
Don't: Try to control them.
You will not succeed if you attempt to control your loved ones’ feelings. You can be there for them, you can tell them the right things, you can reassure them. You can’t do it all and you can’t just expect them to feel better after you’ve tried everything. You’re going to get frustrated, they’re going to get upset, and your relationship will fall apart. Know that your loved one is doing their best and you just have to be content with that. All you can do is be there ... and that's perfectly OK.
