We all have those nights where a certain part of our personality comes out that's absolutely hilarious...until we scroll through our camera rolls in the morning. And we all have friends who fit these categories perfectly, whether it be because of their weird cravings at 2 a.m. or their not-so-fierce fierce dance moves. If your group of friends form a motley crew of celebrity personalities or you know that one friend who has a very distinct drunk character, you can relate to this.
1. The "this cheese would go well with chocolate syrup" drunk
The type of person who arrives home, and before even taking off their shoes or wiping off their makeup, they throw open the refrigerator door and decide what items in there are going to make an amazing combination. Most of their creations are gross (please don't let your roommates eat chicken nuggets a la yogurt). But without these people, we may not have figured out that cheese and fries go well together.
2. The "I love everyone" drunk
"Becky, I love you! John, I love you! Guy from my 100 level math class I put off until senior year, I love you!"
We've all been this over-zealous person at the club who hugs everyone within arm's reach. But hey, these people usually fill our nights with enthusiasm and entertainment. They make us feel the love.
3. The "I can't be in this club for another second" drunk
We all know that look—the "please can we go home and change into sweatpants" look. This person just gets tired of people bumping into them, getting drinks spilled on them or even just gets tired of people in general. Usually we bait these people with the "15 more minutes and then we'll get pizza" line. Everyone wins.
4. The "let's light things on fire" drunk
Maybe this person is a pyromaniac even when they're sober—and maybe not. I've found a lot of guys have this weird inclination to burn all the cardboard they can get their hands on after one too many beers. This is one of the more dangerous drunk personalities, so if you live with one of these people, make sure your fire extinguisher is in working order.
5. The "I'm a unicorn" drunk
A rare but special type of drunk. This person occasionally believes they're a mystical creature and will prance around, entirely shameless, pronouncing that they are indeed a unicorn. I encourage you to video tape.
6. The "let's have a post post-game" drunk
The friend that just won't quit. Or the guy yelling from his porch at 3 a.m. that just won't quit. This person wants to keep going well into the night after most people have already passed out with Netflix blaring in the background—and he'll force you to join him.
7. The "I'm calling everyone I know" drunk
*Calls mom.* *Calls best friend from high school.* *Calls Latin teacher.* Why do I even have her number? *Calls guy I had a crush on in seventh grade.*
These people are solely responsible for the best voice mails you've ever gotten. And though you don't want to be the person calling people, you definitely want to be the person getting called.
8. The "laughing one minute, crying the next" drunk
You know the friend who cries, and she probably drinks a lot of wine, or tequila or a combination of the two? So you spend twenty minutes convincing her that no one is lying to her about how her hair looks. (Guys don't cry, they just punch walls.)
9. The "alter ego" drunk
If "Friends" characters Phoebe (Regina Phalange) and Joey (Ken Adams) taught us anything, it's to have a backup name. Which is all fun and games until a couple of weekends later some "friends" you met at the bar are calling you Jessika with a "k" instead of your real name.
10. The "I'm gonna run home as fast as I can" drunk
Usually when people are sprinting down the street as fast as they can in the middle of the night, it's because they're running away from something scary (dare I say a clown?). But sometimes, we get a little too excited to get home, and for really no discernible reason, we run wee wee wee all the way home.
11. The "rgjknrntj" drunk
That friend you absolutely can't understand when they're drunk. It's like shots cause them to lose all ability to pronounce words correctly.
12. The "loses all motor ability" drunk
Some people don't have to drink that much to stumble all over the sidewalk. These people walk home at the end of the night, leaning one their friend(s) for support. Thank you for the amazing drunk gifs.
13. The "movie expert" drunk
When every word that comes out of your mouth reminds your friend of some movie quote. Seriously, though, you could say "Jesus" and they would start quoting "Talladega Nights."
"I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party."
14. The "I think I'm Beyoncé" drunk
We all feel awesome when we're drunk and dancing—and some nights we get a little too into it. We may feel like Beyoncé, but we really look like a parody of her...or like Taylor Swift.
15. The "hashtag" drunk
The type of person that puts hashtags in front of everything. So when the squad heads to the nearest pizza place, one person will announce that they are "hashtag blessed." The evening was "hashtag lit." And so on.
16. The "I'm not drunk" drunk
And finally, my personal favorite. The person who insists they're not intoxicated, while they simultaneously stumble around and yell things at random people in between bites of mac and cheese.
