Here in the South, there are very distinct traditions people hold very near to their hearts. College football, sweet tea, and Chick-fil-A are staples of our lives, and those who forsake them are ostracized. Like these ways of life, there are specific expectations placed on people as to how we should behave, dress, and interact with the world. Things like that exist no matter where you go, but the demands placed on women and girls in the South are impossible to meet. Our culture says we have to fit a certain mold, but that changes everywhere we go. This ultimately leads to somewhat of an identity crisis and a sense of failure, because we feel we can't be good enough. There is simply no way we can be all of these different people in all of these different situations, and if we try, we are accused of being fake or hypocritical.

The typical Southern girl, as seen in the media, owns at least one pair of cowgirl boots and has an impressive repertoire of Daisy Dukes. She loves country music and sundresses, has a nice drawl, and goes to her grandmother's house on Sunday afternoons. She's probably on the Homecoming court and may also be Valedictorian or Salutatorian... Unless, as the media also portrays, she's on the opposite end of the spectrum, and she's dumber than a sack of rocks.She's probably got long, blonde hair, and is never seen without a full face of makeup in public. Tall list, right? But it's not enough.

Because the Southern girl is also supposed to be the one who lives in Norts and Southern Comfort tees and Chacos. She hikes on the weekend with her dog and her boyfriend, and her Instagram has the perfect aesthetic. She never goes anywhere without her Eno and her reusable water bottle, and she loves everything about nature. If her family doesn't have a lake house, they know someone who does, so she goes there a lot to hang out, maybe fish, and work hammock. With her dog and her boyfriend.

Then there's the girl who, though she looks like the first one, is slightly different. She's very trend conscious, shops at boutiques, and is the one we all want to be, because she's just that put together. She knows how to do her makeup, her hair, and somehow she affords to buy ALL the cute clothes and shoes as soon as they're in stores. She's like Mary Poppins: practically perfect in every way.

Of course, there's the girl who loves horses. She probably rodeos, or used to, and might drive a truck. Like the first girl, she also owns cowgirl boots, but hers are worn by work and are covered in mud. She knows everything there is to know about her animals and she treats them well. She may even be in school to become a veterinarian.

Finally, there's the girl who hunts. This girl and the girl who loves horses may be one in the same. Anyway, she loves to go deer hunting, has Browning stickers on her belongings, and knows more about guns and how to hunt than the boys. She may even use a bow instead of a gun. Or both. Who knows?

Now, it may seem like all I've done is list and reinforce a bunch of stereotypes about women in the South, because these are all things people think about us. What I'm here to tell you is that, whether we realize it or not, our society is making it impossible for us to actually choose our own identities. Regardless of whether we fit into one of these categories (and we probably don't), the culture we live in says who we are isn't enough. Because being one of these girls isn't enough. While no one fits neatly into a single box, we all lean one direction or another. Maybe you are someone who loves makeup and clothes, or you love being outdoors, or you're a hunter. It doesn't matter what you are, because our Southern culture doesn't allow us to feel satisfied with one passion or identity. We are supposed to make ourselves be all of these women depending on the situation or who we are with. We should love to hunt and love makeup and be an aspiring vet and the homecoming queen. We should have both blonde and brunette hair that is both straight and curly, short and long. We should be all things to all people. Even if we attempt to change ourselves to fit into various situations or groups of people, we still won't be accepted. If we do that, we're called out for being fake. We're called hypocrites. So we just can't win. It's impossible to be a woman in the South, because the South won't let us be who we're actually made to be, whoever that is. We're all obsessed with an ideal of femininity that doesn't actually exist, and it's damaging to girls who are forming their sense of self. Everyone would be better off if we could all stop judging by appearance, by what we love, and by who we are friends with. Be who you are. Love what you love. Don't let arbitrary cultural standards prevent you from achieving whatever it is you dream of.