Many people go through a time in their lives when they aren't happy with themselves. For some, it is worse than others. Learning self-worth is one marvelous lesson, and this recently happened to me.
The transition from self-hate to self-acceptance was a long, difficult road. Some people stuck around, and some people couldn't bear to do it any longer. To every person in my life no matter what decision you made, thank you. Thank you for being a part of a journey that I never imagined myself making.
The day I began loving myself, mistakes and all, wasn't too pleasant. It was harder than any quiz or physical test I could've imagined. It wasn't something I could've studied for or eased into. It required me completely starting over and learning new things about myself. Loving yourself requires patience, forgiveness, and a leap of faith.
One of the biggest things I struggled with was the fear of failure. What if I'm not good enough? What if I don't ace the test? What if I get rejected? Questions like these would float into my head and hold me back. The day I started loving myself, I turned my fear into motivation. I had to learn that it was okay to fail. It was okay to come in second place. It's scary to not know if you're going to fail or succeed, but you have to see failure as a stepping stone to success. The day I started loving myself, I did just that.
All of my life, people came to me for things. I was the person with answers. My questions? I tried to answer them myself. Even surrounded by a bunch of people that were willing to help me, I refused to accept it. The day I started loving myself, I used the help offered to me. I had to go from keeping everything in and doing it all myself, to allowing and trusting someone to help me. The day I started loving myself, I realized it is okay to need help.
Imperfections were always something I pointed out about myself. In my head, I was full of them. From my nose to my toes, there were more than a handful of things I despised about myself. The day I started loving myself, I turned those things I disliked so much into something good. I thought of those qualities as something that makes me unique and sets me apart in a positive light instead of something negative. The day I started loving myself, I realized imperfections are beautiful.
Although I can talk a lot, I never quite used my voice to stand up for myself. I let people push me around, drag me down, and influence my opinions. The day I started loving myself, I grew a backbone. I was no longer afraid to say "no" to the people that were so used to hearing me say "yes." I made taking care of myself a priority, and it wasn't selfish. I did things that made me happy, instead of following the crowd. The day I started loving myself, I found a whole new voice within me.
Learning who you are, what you stand for, and accepting yourself are all freeing accomplishments. The day I started loving myself, I realized that I was limitless. When you don't know where you stand you aren't sure what you are capable of doing, but when you know exactly where you are- there is no ceiling to the growing that you can do. I no longer saw things as "I can't". Instead, I saw them as "I will." I no longer allowed myself to be held back.
~ The day I started loving myself, I lived.~
