"You're too forgiving." "Someday your big heart is going to ruin you." "You forgive to easy." "You give too many second chances." These are all things that I hear over and over again. I admit it, I have a big, heavy heart that always wants to see the good in people. I want people to be able to see the good in themselves. People forgive for many reasons. And sometimes being forgiving can be a good thing because it can show people kindness and maybe there's a chance they'll do something good with it. But to be honest, most of the time, it's a curse.
I'm too forgiving, I know that it's true. I forgive because I believe everyone has some sort of good inside of them, even if they don't see it themselves. I want people to realize that they are good, and deep down they have a good heart, somewhere very deep down. I forgive because I know that's not always easy to realize you've done wrong. I forgive because I believe that everyone deserves a second chance even if not everyone thinks that. I forgive because I know that sometimes forgiving is easier. I forgive because I know kindness can go along way. I forgive because my heart doesn't allow me to hold grudges.
I've had my heart broken many times because I forgave the 'wrong' people. Since I have a big heart, I believe that the good can over come the bad and that's not always the case. I have been taken advantage of because I have given people too many chances. (Sometimes seconds chances because third or fourth chances.) I've had people walk all over me because I'm too nice and I forgive so easily. People have pretended that they see what I saw in them to fool me into forgiving them.
Yes, I'm fully aware, I haven't really learned from my mistakes of forgiving people and letting them back into life time and time again. I do hope one day that I can limit how forgiving I am, but it's a work in progress, going on many years now. But I also hope that one day, these people actually change and embrace the good the I once saw in them.
It's hard to learn from something you don't always see as a mistake. I know forgiving people can be considered a mistake, especially if you forgive the 'wrong' person because they have hurt you time and time again. But is it really a mistake? Do they ever actually learn from it? That's hard to tell on both ends. A person could learn not to give any more chances but could the other person actually learn to not take advantage of others? Only if that person is willing to learn from their mistakes.
I'm not here to say everyone should be like me and give second chances often. But I'm also not here to say that people don't deserve them. Maybe the advice to give is perhaps be careful who you give them too. Don't be afraid to give someone a second chance even if others say they don't deserve them. You are the one to make that decision. Though being forgiving might be curse, it's a blessing to have such a big heart.
