Our generation grew up on movies like "The Notebook," "The Last Song" and "The Vow" yet somehow is completely lost when it comes to the concept of romance. Specific emojis (heart eyes, kissy face, anything with a heart involved, etc.) are perceived as the most romantic gesture you’re going to get nowadays. Maybe an instagram picture if you're lucky. And in these classic romance movies, love always prevails, but now if the going gets tough, the tough get going… and literally walk away from the relationship. It just doesn't seem like anyone is willing to fight for each other anymore, or put in the effort in the first place. Maybe my expectations are too high (they’re not), but most likely, it’s because I’m a hopeless romantic in a time when romance is virtually unheard of and dating isn't a thing—casual hookups are the new “steady.”
Don’t get me wrong—for the longest time I didn't want a relationship at all. I was working on myself and that’s what was the most important at that time. But now that I’m in a place where a relationship is viable, I’m realizing that nobody wants one. Everyone is so stuck in this hookup culture and not settling down— especially college kids. I’m not saying everyone is this way, but as a college freshman, it seems that way. Maybe it’s the whole “girls mature faster than boys” theory, or maybe it’s just the fact that no one wants to be tied down anymore. We have so many options, so why settle for just one?
Nowadays, “catching feelings” is worse than catching the plague, especially when you catch them for— surprise, surprise— someone who “doesn't want a relationship right now." It’s become taboo to broach the subject of developing a relationship, and nobody wants to anyway because the odds of rejection due to unwillingness to settle are higher than ever. It’s scary, liking someone and not knowing whether or not they just want you to look at and use until they get bored, or if they genuinely want to build a connection. The unknown is terrifying, which is also why I think this hookup culture has become so preferred.
With casual “dating” (if you can even call it that), there are no expectations, but the benefits still present themselves. People want what comes along with being in a relationship without putting that label on it so they can still do what they want without repercussions. It sounds ideal, but there’s no foundation there and it’s doomed from the beginning. Personally, I find nothing better than getting to know someone and finding out what makes them who they are. I want to get personal and form a connection and develop something that could be great, but it seems like everyone wants “relationships” to be as impersonal as possible.
Another problem with this new culture being embraced -- and this may be just me -- is that it makes you feel worthless. It messes with your perception of your own value because you think the person giving you attention is legitimately interested in who you are as a person. But then when they leave, you're left wondering what you did wrong, and what you could have done to make them genuinely like you. You believe that you aren't worth it for people to stay after awhile because thats all you've been taught.The constant cycle of people leaving when they get bored needs to stop. Personally, I've spent the past few years convincing myself I'm worth it, and I don't have the time or energy to convince someone else of that. No one does anymore.
Now, when I use the term “hopeless romantic,” I don't mean wishing for something extravagant and over the top, like a limo filled with a million roses pulling up for the first date. That’s a lot. I mean I want someone who's proud to have me and brags about me to all their friends. I want someone who is completely sure of me and makes that known. I want someone who recognizes that I’m a princess and a total pain in the ass at the same time, and is completely okay with that. Maybe I’m asking for a lot (I’m not), but dating needs to become a thing again. Because right now, romance is dead. And our generation killed it.
