How exciting it is to be young and educated. There’s a lot of ecstasy that comes from being surrounded by knowledge and open minds. All-you-can-eat buffet-style cafeterias, early morning Starbucks runs even though you’re already late to your 9 a.m., and late-night library study sessions with your best friends: that is what the college experience is about. Sadly, for many of us, even with working multiple jobs, poorly dispersed financial aid packages leave us to fend for ourselves when it comes to paying for college.
When I made the decision to go to college, I had one goal in mind: I was going to go to the school that I felt would give me the best opportunity to study chemistry and after a lot of research, I came up with CU Boulder because it was both practical (grade-wise) and the credentials of some of their faculty within the chemistry department was very impressive. Now, a simple Google search will tell you that unless your parents make 6 figures a year, it’s very unlikely that you will be able to afford CU Boulder without any financial assistance. I knew that despite my IB Diploma that I worked very hard for I wouldn’t qualify for many scholarships for my first year, so my safest bet was to take out a student loan. Like most college students, I had heard so many horror stories about interest rates on student loans and how student loan debt is nearly impossible to pay off. The anxiety that all of these scenarios created inside of me was so intense before I applied for one, and it’s even worse as I’m about to take one on to pay for my second year of college.
There have been many nights where I’ve cried myself to sleep, thinking about how I’ll never be able to have children or get married or go on an expensive vacation to Greece until I pay off those loans completely. You would think that that would stop me from taking them on, but I realize that my dreams are much bigger than my fears. While I am terrified that I’m going to spend the next 80 years living in poverty under the weight of this crippling debt, I’m even more hopeful that the career plan that I have created for myself will work out because I’m so determined.
For those of us who have student loans, college is definitely a much bigger experience. Every party is followed by the guilt of feeling as though you’re wasting your money, your future, on a few cheap thrills. With every missed class, we’re practically able to count the dollars that we’ve wasted on that credit hour. Every time we think about calling into work just for the sake of sleeping in on a Saturday morning, we remember that we’ve made this big commitment to ourselves and that we must see it through. Having a student loan has been both a downfall and a blessing. On one hand, there’s the potential of life long debt but on the other hand, I feel as though I have the world in the palm of my hands. I’m living my dream, studying all of the subjects that make me happy, and I’m meeting a lot of great people. Sure, there’s a possibility that I could’ve still had this same college experience had I chosen to stay in-state and not take out a loan as large as the one necessary to attend CU Boulder, but I honestly can’t say that I regret it.
When I get older, I’m sure that there will be days when I’ll complain about having to work so hard to pay off my loans, but then I’ll think of all of the great times that I had during college and all of the knowledge that I’ve gained and I’ll know that I will be okay. I like to consider myself to be an optimist in life, and a big part of being an optimist is being willing to take risks, especially those that will be life changing. Through all of the support of my friends and family members, I have really been able to push myself in college. There has never been a time in my life where I’ve been as focused and motivated to accomplish my goals as I currently am. I recognize the fact that taking on a student loan is my choice and I will be the only person who has to pay the consequences. That’s an important part of being an adult: accepting the consequences for your actions. I chose to go to school so that in the future I can have the wonderful life that I’ve always dreamed of, and that means having to deal with all of the stress and anxiety that comes along with the loans.
