Dear you,
Let me start off by saying I am sorry. Depending on how long it has been you may not want to hear it. If that is the case, I hope that you know that this is coming from a place of deep sincerity and empathy. I have been there. I honestly say that I am still there from time to time. Time is your best and worst enemy in the case of a broken heart. You want to not feel this pain. You want to return to normal. You want to hurt the person that caused this. Your head is a hurricane of thoughts ranging from how did this happen to how can I fix this. Currently, all you want to do is lay in bed and forget that life is a thing. You don't want to eat, sleep, or do anything for that matter and neither did I.
A little over a year ago, my boyfriend of three years and I broke it off for reasons I am not going to disclose. For the next six months, my daily thought was I don't want to do anything. I didn't want to go to class. I didn't want to socialize. I didn't want help. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to not feel anything. Honestly, there were many days when I wanted to die. I realized in the course of the relationship I had lost every single aspect of myself. I no longer knew how to function as myself. I didn't know what my likes and dislikes were, what I believed, what I wanted in life. I lost connections with people. I lost my religion. I lost me.
About five months into this deep whole of miserableness, I decided to go see my doctor. I will say two things about getting medication for depression. 1. Medication will not make everything better automatically. 2. Being on medication is not a bad thing. If you notice that this pain isn't getting better over the span of months, ask for help. Talk to someone. Don't be afraid to get help. Help is not a scary word.
You will miss them. There is no doubt that you will. In my case, he was the one person I wanted to discuss my pain with. He was my best friend. I lost my boyfriend, but most importantly my best friend, over night. The pain was unbearable. Through the whole process, all I wanted to do was talk to him about it. I still have moments now when I had something really good happen or if I had the worst day of my life when all I want to do is share it with him. You will miss them. You will feel guilty for missing them. You will think it is stupid when it is a year and a half later and you still miss them. It.Is.Okay. I promise you, you are allowed to miss them. You have to heal and grieving is the first step in the healing process.
I know your pain is ringing deep. I know it seems like everything is going wrong. As cliche as it is, time is the best healer. Time allows you to see the progress through the heartbreak. Time is your best friend and worst enemy.
No one is allowed to tell you what to feel. You feel what you feel and it is 100 percent valid. Your feelings are your feelings, no one else's. Your thoughts are valid. You are valid. Your worth is not measured by the person that left you. You are your own individual. You have a substantial amount of worth. You may not be able to see that at the moment, but eventually, you will see your worth. You are not this person's victim. You are a survivor. You are strong, brave, kind, and beautiful. No one can take that away from you. You can get through this. You will find that this time in your life will teach you a lot. Take it day by day. Small victories will help. You got out of bed, good job! You ate today, great! You actually got sleep, congratulations! We can't fix a broken heart over night. We have to pick up the pieces one by one and methodically put them back together to make a stronger heart.
You are loved. You matter.
With love,
From the girl that was once in your shoes.
