Hey there,
It's been awhile, hasn't it? But you deserve these words that I never had the chance to say, because our time was so short, and the miles between us now are so long.
I never expected you, but I will always be grateful that our paths crossed. You came out of nowhere and your smile demolished all the walls life was teaching me to build. Your timing, or maybe it was God's, was the best and the worst at the same time. It was the best because you were exactly what I needed. My world had fallen apart, shattered and re-shattered, and I'd given up trying to put it back together. I had rendered myself unlovable, and decided if that was the case I might as well try to be a useful human being. Deep into this process of self-reconstruction, you appeared with a helping hand and a hammer, and did I mention that smile?
At first I told myself I didn't need you. After all, I was busy rebuilding myself. But then, you picked up some pieces that I'd forgotten. You made me feel valuable again, even though I hardly knew you. You made me feel worthwhile. I wish words could fully explain how important that was. You looked me in the eye and asked me honest questions. You were so real. It wasn't anything especially scandalous or romantic, but that's what made our afternoons--sitting in the grass and sharing our lives--so sweet. I didn't have to try to keep your attention, nor did I have those pesky butterflies in my stomach. In our limited time I wasn't expecting anything, but you opened the door and let a little light into my bitter, hardened heart.
The time went so quickly, even though in my memory its turned to slow-motion. I will always remember your words, your gentleness. I will always remember you were the first to tell me I was beautiful, and the first to make me actually believe it. Goodbye was tougher than I wanted it to be, but I was tired of pretending it would be effortless. Hugging you was easy; letting go wasn't. Your heartbeat echoed in my ears, a reminder that you had so much life left to live whether I was a part of it or not.
Enough about me, this letter is about you. Every so often, I can't help but wonder where you are. I say a little prayer, thank God for our time together, and ask him to take good care of you. Sometimes I slip a "pretty please" in there during the part where I hope our paths cross again. I'm confident that you've grown into a great man, and that time has been good to you. (And that's not merely based on Facebook photos.) I'm sure you've learned so many lessons and had so many adventures, and that God is preparing you for remarkable things. I'm sure your smile has changed more lives than mine. I bet you're not the boy that I remember as time continues to fade. I'm probably not the same girl I was when I hugged you goodbye, and definitely not the same girl I was before I met you. I tip my hat to the one fortunate enough to spend forever with you.
Thank you, for everything.
Sincerely,
A Grateful Girl and the Woman She's Becoming
