An Open Letter To The Boy Who Broke My Heart

An Open Letter To The Boy Who Broke My Heart

Love makes you do mysterious things.

When I was in high school, I was certain that I was going to marry my best friend. My wedding board on Pinterest was made and I already knew whom my bridesmaids would be, but eventually we grew apart. I thought my heart was broken then, but I was wrong.

When I was a freshman in college, I met a boy who I believed was like no other boy I had ever met – average height, beautiful eyes and a “heart of gold.” We spent a lot of time together, I pushed my friends away and ultimately, I guess you could say I fell in love.

That was until he showed a side of himself I had never seen before. From the lies to the game playing, I stuck around because “love makes you do mysterious things.” This letter isn’t to hurt him, but rather to thank him.

Thank you for showing me friendship.Thank you for all of the life talks and episodes of "Extreme Treehouse" but most of all, thank you for showing me who my true friends were when you left. You showed me that no matter how hard I pushed some people away, they would still be there through the mountains and the valleys of life.

Thank you for helping me realize a relationship is not the biggest priority in life.I came to college thinking that I would find the love of my life and we would do everything together. When you left, I found some of my biggest passions in life. I found that being in a relationship is actually kind of annoying and you get to take a lot fewer naps.

Thank you for lying. I know that you’re probably questioning why I’m thanking you for lying to me, but you taught me not to trust every guy who tells you they’re only talking to me. You showed me how to fight for what I thought was right and that I deserve more than to be lied to about your ex-girlfriend.

Ultimately, thank you for being my first true love. You showed me the good, the bad and the ugly sides of a relationship. You taught me that friendships are always more important than any relationship and to value the people who will third wheel just to hang out with you. You showed me heartbreak, but you also taught me how to heal myself and how to handle the hurt, even on the worst days. You’ll always be a large part of my first love story and for that, I’m forever grateful.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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What Rescuing a Dog Taught Me About My Future

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