The Big-Little Relationship: It's For A Lifetime, Not A Little Time

The Big-Little Relationship: It's For A Lifetime, Not A Little Time

I’m not saying you have to be best friends. Just be the best you can be for another person.

Type ‘sorority, big and little’ in the search tab on Pinterest – pages upon pages, upon pages of gifts, crafts, articles on ways to budget, and reveal pictures, pop up. Picturesque young ladies with a cute tank top that says ‘big’ on it, with her little on her shoulders, their letters gleaming in the background. In every picture, the girls look so thrilled, so enthralled with their new sister; so grateful to have that other person in their life.

For anybody that is new to a sorority or is not in Greek Life at all, the idea of big and little is hard to comprehend. You join a sorority, you get a big; that big also has a big whom they received when they first joined. That big – aka your grandbig – could also have another little; your big’s twin. That twin could have a little of her own, making her your cousin. It’s a family tree with branches and connections, severed ties, and leaves sprouting with every new semester. And it’s no wonder people get confused at the mention of it.

The idea of big and little, however, is very simple. If you are the little, you are not required to be attached at the hip of the big. If you are the big, you are not required to be the best friend of your little. When you take a little, you are signing up to be so much more. It should not be taking someone as a little just to say you have a little. The big is supposed to be the mentor, the best of both a friend and a mother; the definition of a sister. Someone who looks out for their mentee, makes sure their transition from high school to college, teenager to adult (perhaps one of the hardest things a person, especially a young woman, can go through) is as seamless and as enjoyable as can be. Someone who puts their little’s happiness and comfort above all else, within reason. Someone their little can call in the dead of night and count on for something as small as a tampon, or as significant as a broken heart. Someone they know is going to love them no matter what.

Amid this ‘contract,’ the little is bound to some conditions as well. No, they are not required to agree with everything their big does; they are not required to listen to every word they say, for we know deep down, just like a mother to a child, they aren’t going to always listen. But they, too, are agreeing to love their big no matter what. They are agreeing to be trustworthy, patient and understanding, and there for their big whenever they need it. (And trust me, big’s will need it.)

Once you have signed up for this, you’ve signed up for life. This doesn’t mean necessarily being in one another’s wedding or the godmother of their children – although it is a special and revered circumstance when it does happen. This means that, that person knows forever that there is someone out there who cares for them endlessly, even after all else have faded away.

Somewhere along the way, we lose sight of those blissfully happy girls in the photographs; we lose sight of one another. Don’t be ashamed: it happens to all of us. Big or little, it doesn’t matter, sooner or later one begins to take the other for granted. If that’s never happened to you, you’re either A) lying or B) a much better person than the rest of us.

In any journey, there reaches a point in which the roads turn from pavement to gravel, from gravel to the bumpy sod of the earth. We ride along, thinking everything is fine – convincing ourselves of it – firm in believing that the rough patch will end, that we will find pavement once again. We push through, laying our foot harder on the pedal, thinking the more gas we give it, the gentler the ride will be. All the while, thinking, ‘I should have just turned back when I hit gravel.’ But, there is no turning back; we’ve already given it everything we’ve got, and depleted our fuel in doing so. Now, we have two choices: we can either abandon our efforts and turn back, knowing the costs if we do, or we can forge ahead on foot, persistent and true.

Even though the pictures are lovely, some of them aren’t real. (Remember, people, stock photos exist.) Even if they are, they are not true to you and your own situation with your big or little. They are not a portrait to live up to, and you should not enter a relationship with the intention of looking like the girls in the pictures on Pinterest. This relationship is not a show; not a social media goal. We put too much emphasis on what people think of us, whether it’s on social media or the generalized others out in the world – and I’ll be the first to admit I do it too. But the big-little relationship is not founded in the basis of how many cute pictures you can take, how many likes you get, or how many people in your chapter tell you that you and your big/little are #goals. I’d like to think it is worth so much more than that. Just because there’s a problem – or because it strays too far from the photo online – does not mean it’s over. Once you’ve committed – whether you are a big or a little – you do not get to pick and choose who to replace the other because you’re angry. It is a lifelong relationship, and a meaningful one at that. A relationship that you can look back on after your college years and be ultimately thankful for.

So, when you hit the dirt road on your journey – and we all do some time or another – remember what you fought for, what you are still fighting for. Keep going, and don’t let it just be a picture on social media.

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20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!

After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out:

14. Some activities on my bucket list are...

This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...

What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Yes, I’ve Messed Up A Lot But No, I’m Not Going To Keep Apologizing For My Mistakes

I do not have it together all the time!!!


Someone out there needs to hear this. We've all made mistakes and there is no reason to constantly apologizing. If you truly hurt someone then obviously you should apologize, but if you didn't hurt anyone why should you say sorry?

All I ever do is apologize for feeling bad for mistakes I made.

We've all made choices that maybe weren't the best for us.

We've all worn crocs or ugly sandals.

We've all kissed the wrong boy or invested time in friendships that were one-sided.

We've all drank too much.

And these are all things that are normal and parts of growing up. I'm still growing up and I'm not going to be 40 or 50 years old and still making these mistakes. I'm only 20 and there's no way I'm going to wake up tomorrow and have it completely together.

You are the gatekeeper of everything that enters your mind. If you wanna be strong stop manufacturing things in your mind that makes you feel weak.

It's toxic for me to constantly feel bad about choices I made in moments of bad judgment.

I'm a little immature or dramatic or a mess at times, but we're all working out it — each morning I want to wake up and try to be better than I was yesterday.

I care about people and I want to be a better person today than I was yesterday.

So, why the hell should I spend today worrying, stressing and saying sorry for all mistakes?

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