We ask each other questions all the time. How are you? What are you up to? How was your day? The list can go on and on. Questions are great ways to get to know people and who they truly are, especially if they are quiet. I do not necessarily open up easily about what is going on in my current life. I have no problem talking about the current, but not the past. Questions allow people to get me to open up, and one in particular actually helps me on the toughest days.
What is going on in your head right now? That question is possibly one of the best questions someone can ask me. First of all, it let's me know it is okay to share what is going through my head. It is not always sunshine and flowers. Lately, there have been some pretty dark and painful times within myself. However, I never want to share with others because I do not want to be a burden. I do not want to worry people. I know some of my thoughts can scare people away, they certainly have in the past. I also know that I can overcome the hard times. I have overcome them every single time so what's one more? When someone asks me what's going on in my head, it let's me know they care. They want to support me but they don't know how unless I open up.
Secondly, it makes me vocalize what is going through my head. I am a people watcher. I sit in the background, hoping not to get noticed and listen to what is going on around me. I do not speak often in group settings. When asked about it, I go to the easy answer- I don't know how to put it into words. Sometimes, this is truly the case. However, most times, I know the words, I just don't want to say them out loud. I started doing a lot more journaling because it has allowed me to escape my head which at times, has been a scary place to live. I would be lying if I said that depression is something that you can overcome once and never look back. It is a fight that happens throughout life. I have hit a low point, but I have also started reaching out for the support that is needed to get back on track. However, when someone asked me the other night what was going through my head in that moment, it helped me to start vocalizing which is so important so that I do not get trapped in my own thoughts for long.
Some days, I wish that I didn't have to live with depression. Some days, I wish my family and friends didn't have to see me go through painful days. Days where I would rather be anywhere but in the place I was in. However, when someone asks me what's going through my head, it helps more than they can ever know. I am willing to open up and start vocalizing and honestly afterwards, feel a sense of relief. So, if you ever want to know what question to ask me, ask me what's going on in my head.
