Dear Person I Used to Know,

Every girl needs a guy best friend. Everyone told me, out of all my friends in high school, that you would be the person I would stay close with forever. I believed them, and we had a friendship like no other. I’ve been home from school for 99 days. A little over three months, was my first summer after college and you were not there for it.

I reached out numerous times and nothing followed. You never tried to reschedule. You never called. I see you all the time, in our little small town, right in front of my face and not five minutes from my house, and you still never reached out. I tried and I gave it my all. You used to be my person; the person I talked to every day. I knew things about you most people didn’t know. I was always my best self with you. I accepted everything about you, every flaw and every imperfection, and would’ve stood up to army for you. Back in the day, when someone asked me what you were up to I could answer without a pause because honestly we were probably together, side by side, but now I feel as if I literally know nothing about you.

I went to school and made new friends. You did the same and got close with other people back at home and I completely understand that. I was there for you and no matter what I still wanted to be there. For a while, I felt guilty about moving away and making new friends, because you were the only thing I'd ever really known. And today, I look around and I shouldn't feel guilty for moving on. I shouldn't be afraid to go after my dreams. I shouldn't let this once fairytale friendship poison me. Remember, when we used to talk about our dreams and what we were going to accomplish? I know the paths in life we wanted to take, and it kills me to see you slowly transforming into everything we said we wouldn't be. You have so much potential. I cannot bare to watch you fade away.

There are no hard feelings towards your new life at all, but I can’t say that it didn’t hurt me. I cannot say I wasn't jealous of your new friends and I cannot say that I didn't feel pain when they had obviously replaced me. I didn’t want you to have no one to talk to or hang out with. I would never wish that. But, once you found this new group of people, it was like I meant nothing and you found people to substitute the lifelong friendship that we had. A lifelong friendship that meant the world to me.

I never met a person at college without telling them about you. Did you do the same? You were an ultimate light in my life, inspired me to be the person that I am, and carried me through so many tough times. You were my family and still are. I told myself since you cancelled the last time, that I would give you until move in, to reach out to me and try to heal this wound. There was nothing and I couldn’t get myself to try and make another connection to you because of how dumb I felt when I realized that I was living in a fantasy and that the hard reality is, that things are not like they used to be. We are not close.

Today, I move back to school for my sophomore year. A year ago, I moved into a new place, scared and afraid, and I took you with me, my best friend.

But today, I cannot do that.

I can’t take you with me because this first summer back at home has proved that you have practically erased me from your life and that’s fine. I’m not angry. I’m incredibly sad, but I’ve had a whole summer to stare at this letter and change it a million times. I’ve truly never had a heartbreak like this before and I’ve truly never really experienced life without you in it. From the earliest of years, to walking across the stage and getting our diplomas, you were my brother. God knew that even as an only child, I'd still have a sibling by heart. He gave me you. I’ve cried too many tears over you in the past three months. But, I’ve held these feelings in for way too long. This has become toxic for me to watch you slip away.

I love you, I will always care about you, and I wish you the fullest life God has to offer, but I cannot let this control my emotions anymore.

This is my goodbye and now I know, I just need to let you go.

Sincerely,

Your Old Best Friend