The idea that one of a baby’s first words is usually “no” has been spreading around through various mediums of entertainment for generations. It’s pretty much widely accepted. So why is it so hard to say? If this word is so common, and virtually everyone has been saying it for the vast majority of their lives, then why is “no” such a “no-no” word?
If someone wants to hang out and you say “no,” suddenly you’re lame or a jerk. Refusing food, whether or not you want it, is considered rude. Not accepting free stuff that you clearly don’t want and will never use is somehow “weird.” If you decline someone’s sexual advances, it could even have horrible consequences (see the entire blog dedicated to women who suffer from violence just from saying no). If someone asks you to do something, the “yes,” is often understood. The “no,” is somehow inconceivable.
If honesty is the best policy, then why does the truth of wanting inaction lead to such bad reactions?
“No” is a beautiful word. It’s freeing. Just say it. Sound it out. Scream it. Whisper it. Beatbox poorly while making a freestyle rap about it. Or not. Do nothing. You can totally say “no” to saying “no.” That’s what’s so freaking awesome about it! It’s so versatile! So freeing! There’s something so positive about negativity. Hell, I'm Pro-No!
I absolutely love the power behind “no.” The word “yes” may move mountains, but “no” holds the power to stop those mountains from moving because the mountains were perfectly happy sitting where they were at the bar and they don’t need anyone to buy them a drink and it hasn’t changed from when the mountains were asked five minutes ago.
Sure, rejection sucks. Hurting someone’s feelings is supposed to be bad, but not being able to exercise natural free will is even worse. Making someone feel bad for being a human being with wants and needs, especially the need to not want to do something, is the true jerky thing to do. No one should have to make up excuses for why they don’t want to do what someone else wants them to do. As freely as the offer was proposed is as freely as it can be declined. Saying yes or no when you truly mean it is awesome. Being forced into saying yes is not consent. It's not agreement. It's not anything but pressure and douchebaggery.
I often hear the phrase, “No one ever says no to me,” and I think, “God, who deprived you?” Live in the “no.” Embrace the “no.” Be the “no.” Love the "no." Buy the "no" some Chipotle and binge-watch "Breaking Bad" with it. Or not. It’s your choice.
#ProNo