As my 27th birthday is here, I sit here thinking about this past year. 26 was probably the most challenging year of my life thus far…I never been at war with myself like I have this year. I held onto someone who was toxic for me…for 14 years. I let him cheat on me, I let him do unspeakable things to me, I left him mentally abuse me and let him lay his hands on me twice. I thought it was ok to love like this…I thought this was love. But I guess that is what happens when you fall inlove at 14. You think you can’t get any better so you hold on to the one thing that is literally breaking your soul.
Thinking the tighter you hold on, that it will get fixed when in reality…the tighter you hold on the more it hurts. I never thought I would get the courage to leave. I didn’t think I could do it but I did. And I have never felt so free in my life. Letting him go was the hardest thing I ever done, but in it. I found my strength, I found my worth, and I found what I was put on this Earth to do. I found a man who loves and supports me in everything I do. He’s gentle when I need him to be gentle, he’s my strength when I need him to be. He gives me my space when I ask for it but then he’s right there when I’m being clingy. He’s honest with me no matter how much it hurts, and he reassures me with his kind words.
He loves me for who I am and never any less. And in all of this I found a way to love and accept myself for who I really am. I found my peace and I’m on the road to true happiness. I will never ever let anyone bring me so down again I lose who I am. I never understood how beautiful it could be to discover your strength until this year. 26 was the hardest year for me so far, but 27 I have high hopes for you. I see a positive and happy year full of love and laughter. 27 I welcome you with open arms. Goodbye 26…thank you all the lessons, but most of all thank you for understanding the beauty of finding my own strength.
