In my family I'm known as the "bed head", the "napper", the "she can sleep anywhere and be fine" girl. However the last two weeks, I have not been blessed with my beautiful gift. I've been having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, and getting up in the morning. It's actually awful, but the truth in it all is that there is an art to not being able to sleep. Night time is always my most inspired time of day. I'm able to think without someone yelling, screaming, or telling me to do something. I can just be and do my thing. So during my times of tossing and turning and finally giving up sleep, I've gotten a lot of writing done.
You'd think I'd be tired without getting the normal 7-12 hour rest I usually obtain without a pause or stir, but actually when I'm staring at a wall at 3 am, my eyes are tired but my body is not. I feel the urge to do anything and everything. It's almost as if I'm suppose to be nocturnal because during the day I never feel awake or motivated, but at night I have all these ideas, aspires, and motivations. Sometimes I lay here and even do crunches in my bed just to see how many I can do till I get tired. Sometimes I plan out my life exactly how I'd like it to be. Sometimes I even study at 2:37 am for that environmental science class that I know I should study more for.
If I had to choose a spirit animal to depict myself it would be a sloth. I mean, I am actually one of the laziest people I know. Sure I work out and do sports, but you can bet it is done with non stop complaints and threats to quit. You can see my surprise at how motivated I am in the middle of the night when I'm suppose to be dreaming it up. During the hour and a half or so of sleep I get per night now I don't even dream. And I can tell you I am usually a dreamer, and I remember my dreams as well. So that is one thing that definitely disturbs me; the fact I can't enjoy my dreams anymore.
Even though I am extremely motivated, I have to admit I miss sleeping. I miss relaxing and having a break from the world a bit being engulfed in my dreams. I miss it, so I hope soon that I can rejoin the world during the times of rest and shut eye lids.
