Over the summer, I prayed about several things that had been weighing on my heart and when God answered, I was overjoyed. It seemed like everything was going to work out in my favor. It turned that somethings I wanted, I had to change and they were actually an upgrade from what I previously wanted. And as the summer went on, I found myself at peace about these things and they consumed my every thought. All my thoughts and emotions were centered on what I prayed about and I thought I knew how to get them.
Fast forward, to this semester. I found out that I was completely wrong. Not about the revelations God showed me, but the idea that I had every thing under control and that I knew how to make those revelations come about. Honestly, it's kind of funny because I felt so over my head trying to make things go about the way I want them. Especially after being met with failure after failure. So now I'm wondering "God, what happened? You told me this and revealed to me that. I'm just trying to follow in your will." I've asked God this before and when he gave his answer, I shut it out because I feared what the implications were, but now I'm listening and I heard Him say two words: "Let Go." Let Go of trying to control everything. Let Go of trying to figure out the hows and whys. Let Go of the revelations I showed you. Let Go and be still.
One of my biggest weaknesses, is always to figure out the whys and hows. I HATE not knowing things and more than that, I hate waiting. It freaks me out and stresses me out. In this area, waiting led a fear that I heard God wrong, that I was wrong all along. But after just listening, I realized that "Let Go" doesn't mean stop operating in faith or hoping or accepting the things of God. To me, it just meant that I need to stop holding to what God showed me and instead hold on to Him. I need to keep an open fist and let God move and operate on his own schedule.
So what to do in the meantime? I've recently learned that God doesn't bless with things until He sees that we are ready for them. Until that time, we need to grow in Him and in ourselves. A friend recently mentioned a verse: John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease," and I can't think a better verse to tie into the idea of letting go...Grow in the things of God, make Him a priority not ourselves and not the things we are believing for and waiting to come into fruition.
When we try to make things work on our own before His appointed time, we will be met with failure, regardless of a revelation. God will make everything come together when He says it time and not one second before. Waiting doesn't necessarily mean "No" or that you heard God wrong. "Not Now" isn't never. It just means that He has a time and a place that's so much better than we ever imagined.
