A very wise author made a great emphasis on pain in one of his books. John Green, the author of "The Fault in Our Stars," repeats “pain demands to be felt,” throughout the entirety of his book centered around two cancer-stricken teenagers who just so happened to fall in love. The first time I read that line I wasn’t too moved. Of course pain demands to be felt, that’s why we feel it. But this week, as I try to dig myself out of a slump that I put myself in, I realized that if anyone needs to remember that phrase, it’s me.
I don’t know why, but I’ve never been one to share my feelings, especially when they’re attacking me. I’ve never worn my heart on my sleeve and I’m an expert at putting my thoughts, feelings, emotions and pain in a tiny little bottle at risk of exploding every time I try to force another situation down its narrow neck. I don’t let people see me cry if I can help it and when I need to cry, I allow myself about 30 seconds of waterworks before I stop and say to myself “you’re ridiculous, knock it off,” and the tears are gone.
But by doing these things I’m not helping anyone; I’m especially not helping myself. For a long time, I denied my depression, I tried to ignore my anxiety but lately, that isn’t working. The biggest turning point for someone with a mental illness has to be the moment they realize they just can’t feel it anymore. The sadness that overcomes me sometimes is so frequent and often so strong that I just don’t care to try to fix it. If I know it won’t change, why try? Don’t listen to me. Don’t be like me.
This week I heard God speak to me through one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. "Pain Told Love" by Tribe Society hit me in the face like a bag of nickels. I guess I needed something high impact to make me realize that hurting is Ok. Crying is Ok. Sadness is Ok. “Pain comes and you find a way to build your world around it /And when it hurts get inside the pain and wrap your arms around it/ I heard Pain tell Love, she said ‘where would I be without you?’/ So Love I better find a way to build my world around you.” If that doesn’t make your heart feel different about pain, I don’t know what to tell you.
We all have this notion that pain is a weakness and we should never acknowledge it. We must remain strong and tough-skinned and heartless or we won’t get anywhere in this world. This is the greatest lie ever told. Your feelings are there for a reason. The more you ignore them, the greater your risk when everything comes crashing down. Pain isn’t evil, pain is a negative thing that we have all the power in the world to turn positive. We have to be okay with pain and we have to acknowledge it. The more we put off and ignore the pain that tugs at our heart every day, the more pain we will feel on the day we decide to let it all go. Your pain, your sadness, your anger, your emotions are nothing to be ashamed of.
“Pain demands to be felt,” because it won’t leave until it knows you’ve endured its thunderstorm, or its hurricane. “You gotta make a friend to pain cause hurricanes make flowers grow.”
Do yourself a favor, listen to the song that changed my heart.
