Saturday Night Live perfectly described what it's like coming home from college for your first Thanksgiving break, with the "Back Home Ballers" number, (if you haven't seen it, I strongly recommend you do). However, after my first trip home after leaving for college, all other times I came home I was no longer considered a "Back Home Baller."
"But for the next four days we’re about to run this bitch"
If I used the word bitch, my mother and I would not be off to a very good start.
"Walk in the door, hand my bag to the valet"
It's surprising if anyone is even home when I get home.
"Head straight to the fridge like a boss yo Hell yeah - my mom went to Costco"
After my most recent FaceTime with my mom, I think she noticed that my face took up more of the screen than it once had. Yes, the pantry is stocked. But stocked with dried fruits and detox health bars.
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"I do what I want and I get what I want cuz my parents miss their daughter"
"Miss" should be past tense.
"Then I roll up to the washer, laundry game on lock, gonna do a whole load for just one sock"
It's safer to just do one load of only my stuff. Otherwise, I end up going back to school with a significantly lighter duffle bag, and my sister's closets double in size.
"If I say “mom, tacos” my mom will make tacos"
I get to choose dinner my first night being home. But this choice does not come with unlimited freedom. I can't get too crazy and must cater to EXACTLY what my siblings want.
"We always see a movie but it can’t be odd so we settle for Penguins or Madagascar"
After the initial 10 minutes of me being home, everyone's lives go back to normal. This means fights over clothes commence and Netflix behind closed doors resume. Family movie nights definitely are not involved.
"And as a nice gesture I bought all the tickets, psych - not a chance"
Even if family movie night were to exist, I definitely would not be buying the tickets. Not by choice, but because there's about $2.38 in my bank account. Reminding my parents of this leads to the extensive spending talk.
"When my mom needs help I pretend to be nappin’ even though I can hear all that is happening"
This one's actually pretty accurate. However, I get so kindly "woken up" from my "nap" to help load the dishwasher or carry in the groceries.
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"Getting free wi-fi like a dope ass hoe, the password starts with seventeen Os"
The wi-fi is nice until someone gets booted off of it or someone's page loads too slowly. This is where the "well, this never happens when you're not here" comes in.
"Love you mom and dad, we out. See you in a month for Christmas, we doing this all again"
I'll be back in a month with an update...