When I was younger, I was always the kid that wanted to be the center of attention. I knew how to take turns and be patient while others were talking, but I wanted people to look at me. As I got older, I was the teenager involved in everything. I wanted to be in orchestra, band, choir, field hockey, theater, and the list continues on. I wanted to help others and be around people. I knew that was something I was good at.
As I applied to colleges, I was very indecisive with my decision. I applied to 16 colleges and got into 15 of them. My two major requirements of the schools was that they had a great elementary education program and Greek life on campus. I had watched the movies of what Greek life appeared to be and was terrified, until I had noticed some of my favorite Christian camp counselors were in Greek organizations. I knew that this was something special and I had to be a part of it. Since my parents didn’t join Greek organizations, I knew this was one thing I could do that would stand out to them.
The college search ended and I decided on a smaller university that still provided three sororities to campus. I was delighted knowing that recruitment was happening at the beginning of the semester and I was ready to meet new people and grow as a person. I was a nervous freshman and something about a sisterhood sounded perfect, considering I only have a brother. After going through the three day process and choosing my top house, I attended bid day. Opening the envelope with my name written in gold felt better than opening a box of twenty Comfort Colors shirts. I knew that I had just joined something I was so excited about for the rest of my life.
Running on the quad to a group of 40 sisters is a moment I won’t ever forget. As my freshman year took off, these sisters became my backbone. These girls were my people. They were the people watching the Bachelor with me when we had mountains of studying to do. They were the people that supported me when I got a B on an environmental science exam. They were the people that studied in the library with me and made me stay when all I wanted to do was go for a run. These sisters were my world. I became a leader within my chapter when I was given a position as a freshman and my self esteem grew to the point I felt like a whole new person. When I decided on changing my school due to the academic program and thinking the college was too small to me, I had to say goodbye to them. That was one of the most difficult things. Not leaving the college, but leaving the sisters.
Transferring to a larger university and making the jump from 3,000 to 20,000 students is rather drastic. I knew that I would be lucky enough to associate with my sorority’s chapter at my new university. In a matter of moments as I opened the red door, I was greeted by 140 girls instead of 40 girls. It was a realization that this was going to become my new home, but it wasn’t going to be the easiest adjustment. I associated with the chapter during “polish week”, in practice for recruitment. I had no idea what door decking was. What were these random chants we were practicing? You mean we have to bump at specific times? You trust me to balance 15 cups of water on a tray? I have to wear heels for how long? The amount of information thrown my way on the first day was overwhelming, yet the whole time there were girls introducing themselves and asking how I was doing.
As the first semester started at my new college, I always had a friendly face helping me. If I was lost in a building, someone was there to text me and tell me where to go. If I really wanted to go to the dining hall and didn’t want to go by myself, someone always went with me. If I had a new class with a professor I was nervous about, they were the ones giving me the old notes. My sisters fully embraced me, forgetting that I wasn’t initiated in the same room as them. They took time out of their days in the first weeks to make sure I knew the scoop and how things ran. As recruitment ended and we had new members join our chapter, I had girls that felt like I did. We were new to the sisterhood, but felt included within seconds.
These sisters changed my life. The women of the chapter supported me when I was a terrified girl just hoping to make friends. They respected my morals even if some of the sisters didn’t agree with them. They laughed at my jokes even if they were terrible.
As I transitioned to a second semester at the larger university, I realized how badly I missed my small school. I missed the class sizes, the short walks to class, and being closer to home. I made the decision to transfer for a third time. Three colleges in three years would be my reality. As I made the decision, I realized that there wouldn’t be Greek life at this third school. It wasn’t that Greek life had became something that wasn’t important to me. My sorority had already transformed me in such amazing ways for a year and a half, that I didn’t feel like I needed it to be who I was meant to be. It only assisted me in loving myself a little more. I made the decision to go early alumni of my sorority, making me an alumni of my chapter. The beauty of this decision was that I wouldn’t give up my letters, but I would give up my status of being an active member.
I knew making such a big decision wouldn’t be easy. I just knew that I truly would only be missing the sisterhood aspect, as I didn’t go out or have a leadership position. I knew that I wouldn’t be missing as many events as the fall semester, besides formal (this is a shameless plug saying if you need a formal date, I’m your gal). I knew that leaving my sorority would still mean I would be able to study, hangout, eat food with, go out with, and make memories with my sisters.
As I told my sisters the situation, I was only embraced with supportive messages and love. I realized that I picked the best sisterhood on the planet. I joined an organization that put sisterhood above all else. These girls were real sisters that sometimes went out and sometimes camped in the library till 2 a.m. and I couldn’t thank them enough for loving me no matter what the status of my membership became.
Thank you sisters. Thank you to the sisters that still sit next to me in class. Thank you to the sisters that still check up on me when I say I’m sick. Thank you to the sisters that still make sure I take time to go out, even if it is to Dunkin’ Donuts. Thank you to the sisters that still support me when I am struggling. Thank you to the sisters that say hello to me on the quad. Thank you to the sisters that still invite me to the house. Thank you to the sisters that offer to watch the Bachelor with me. Thank you to the sisters that realize I am always going to be there sister.
The truth is, these women are my sisters no matter what. It shows that no matter what, Greek life is what you make of it. Being in a sorority or fraternity is something that we often take for granted. We are aware we are a part of an organization much larger than our self. We know that we have dues to pay and that we have standards to uphold. Sometimes, it is for the worst. Sometimes people have terrible experiences and all we can do is learn from them. We forget that there is a large group of thousands of brothers or sisters that can make that immediate connection with you, by being in the same organization.
Many things change in life. One thing that was a constant for me was the sisterhood. I was terrified leaving something that meant so much to me. What I learned is I picked an amazing chapter of women that truly don't care if I am at Sunday night chapters or if I am attending philanthropy as an active member. They love me for me and are still part of my life.
Some girls don't have a choice in the matter when it comes to dropping their sorority. The cost outweighs the benefits. They don't have enough time to commit to the chapter. They couldn't maintain their GPA while being part of a sisterhood. I was lucky enough that I had a choice.
Give Greek life a chance. Join a chapter where you can see yourself hanging out with people in your “bum looking clothes” or the people you can tolerate staying up in the library with till 2 a.m. Greek life isn’t for everyone, but I can promise you; it sure can be for many.
