First off, I'd just like to tell you that I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. Forgiveness doesn't mean I've forgotten though, and that's something that both of us will have to learn to accept if we plan on being in each other's lives. Anyway.

Thank you for making me fight for myself. I have fought for the relationship we have shared. I have fought for what I thought we should be. I have fought for the life I thought I needed to have. I may have lost that fight at the time, but in the end I have won. I am braver now because I learned to fight for myself and what I believe in. I am stronger because I know what it is to fight and lose. I am wiser because I know the show must go on regardless of the outcome of any of these battles.

Thank you for disappointing me. I never knew I could be as disconcerted as I have been left time and time again by your antics. Fortunately, this has also prepared me for life's blows. It's an unsteady road, but as long as you're good at balancing on that unsteady road as if it were a newly paved highway you're golden. Your disappointing me has made me live life always on my toes, and while to some that may be exhausting it's the only way I've known.

Thank you for the broken promises. They taught me more than you'll ever know. The biggest thing I think they've taught is that words are just that; words. They're nothing more. I'm sitting here writing this, and while you may be reading it you may not take it to heart because the article is full of "just words". It's true what they say - actions do speak louder than words. Your actions speak volumes. They say I don't matter as much as you've always told me. They say I am lacking worthiness in your eyes. They say that I love you, and have always loved you, exponentially greater than you have ever loved me. It's not a bad thing though. I know I'm worthy of every ounce of love imaginable. I matter to more people than I can count. I am completely content knowing I love you more because that's who I am; I am a lover. I love you.

Thank you for showing me what I don't want to be. I don't want to be someone that other's can't count on. I don't want to be the person that someone is afraid to call because they know they'll just be miserable after. I don't want to be the person that you can't look to for comfort in time of grief. I don't want to be a person that is notorious for causing such heartache in the people that love them the most. I don't want to be all of these things because they're all heartbreaking. They're all a sad excuse of existing. This life is to be lived. To be lived is to love. If I were any of these I would be horrified because I know I'm fully capable of being more than that. If I were any of these, I would strive for greater. My friends and family know I'm the person they can count on for support because I show them I am. They know I'm the person that they can look to for guidance. They know I'm the person they can call in the middle of the night because I make it known that I'm always, always there for them.

Thank you for making me cry. I know that it's what I needed to get on in life knowing that you may not ever be what I wanted you to be. It helps me understand that I am who I am today because of you. Those tears of shear frustration and sadness were ones that needed to be shed because with those drops of emotion pouring down my reddened cheeks it occurred to me that I am more. I am more than you made me feel. I am more than you acted like I was. I am more than a person that can be cast aside like a used tissue.

Lastly...

Thank you for breaking my heart. While you may never read this it's still something I've needed off my chest. I don't think I could ever vocalize these words to you. I don't think I could say all of the things I've said here because I don't think I could do what you've done to me. I don't think I could break your heart. I don't think I've ever wanted to nor do I think I ever will. I'd have to hate you to even consider it, and I've never for a moment hated you. I doubt it's even possible.

I love you too much to hurt you. You are as much a part of me as the freckles on my cheeks and the red hue of my hair. To hurt you would be to hurt myself, and I value the person I am way too much to even dream of doing that.

I don't hate you.

I forgive you.

I love you.