Dear girl who is making my cooler,
Before we begin, let me explain this whole cooler thing. Just like every other date situation, the guy asks the girl but with this being a fraternity formal, there's a little more involved. Normally traveling to a warmer destination, Norris Lake or Gatlinburg for example, it has become a tradition for girls to sand, primer, and then paint it the guys favorite, sports teams, sayings, fraternity logos onto a cooler. I have seen it all man. The cooler is used to hold uh…yeah you know, the "sodas."
God bless that woman … anyway, thank you so much to the girl making my cooler.
I know that I am sitting here typing this article at 3 a.m., and you’re probably hunchbacked, hair up in a messy bun, paint all over your body, tired and restless since you have been slaving over this project for weeks it has literally taken over your life.
You can’t stop thinking about it, you've started to call it “your child” and you don’t trust anyone else with it. The thought of giving it away to a frat dude makes the hair on the back of your neck stand to attention.
You probably believe that I don’t even want it or won’t love it as much as you do. I mean you’re probably right, to me it is a square icebox but to you, it is your whole world. But let me tell you this, I have been waiting months for this moment.
I have heard stories and seen pictures of formal and since then I have always wanted this moment in time. It is like every frat boy's Christmas in April. You and your army of friends that have been working on this. Oh, I know that this is a whole friend group effort.
*friend groupchat*
“Oh my god Ian likes the Cubs, should I put the Reds on it?” -Girl I asked
“No you gosh darn moron put the damn Cubs on it!” – Girl's friend
Thank you to the whole friend group that has helped with this. Thank you for getting second hand high from the fumes of the paint that may never leave your poor house, no matter what you do. It really means more than you think that you strayed her away from stupid ideas like putting “YOLO” or “It goes down in the DMs” on it, God bless you.
I cannot wait for the moment you finally show me, since I have been trying to get hints or Snapchats of the “baby.” I promise that if I break it, you can burn me at the stake in front of the whole Greek village as witnesses, kind of medieval I know, but I would deserve that punishment.
Thank you once again,
Love Ian
