Dear First Love,

I love you so much. So so much. I wish I could say I don’t anymore, but I always will. That’s the funny thing about you. I can get over other boys and relationships fairly well, but there are still some days years later that I think about our future star athlete children and our southern home. I still think about that first kiss when you pushed me against that tree and put your lips to mine and I swear my heart stopped. There are still days when I think it’s meant to be, just as 16-year-old me did.

Our relationship was reckless. But so stable at the same time.

You were the first person that truly knew how to get under my skin and push my buttons. And we did just that to each other. But we also both helped each other through some of the hardest times of our lives. And most importantly, we celebrated the best times together. We danced like maniacs at country concerts over the summer and probably had a little too much to drink at a party or two. But the real time our love showed was during those 2 years we were together in high school together.

I went to every damn high school football game, 90 and sunny or 5 and hailing. I saw you and your team clinch the league championship, and then go farther and farther than ever in the playoffs in recent history. I patiently helped you weigh the pros and cons of which college you should accept a football scholarship from. I spent SO much time watching you lift and helping time you for conditioning. I spent the night in a hotel to watch you almost win state for track. I held you and saw you cry for the first time when your football coach died. I watched you walk across the stage at graduation and get your diploma...

Then I said goodbye to you when you graduated. And damn did that hurt.

But I would do every single second of it over again if given the chance.

I would walk up to you in that old gymnasium of ours and kiss you if I saw you right now. Because high school love is special. It has a certain level of purity because you haven’t been tainted by the real world in college and afterward. You never really get the thrill again of taking alcohol from your parents and sneaking out a back window and door just to see someone your parents know you love. Never again are you with someone without the hidden pressure of getting married and raising a family in a few years. Most importantly, never again are you with someone where you both discover love for the first time.

Today, we are some of the lucky few who have successfully become friends after a breakup. We hang out every time the two of us are home, and you even came to watch me in track last year. This year I will make the trek up to see you continue to succeed in what will forever be our sport. We still sometimes spend late nights up talking and my family still asks how you are every time I see them. My family and friends still make comments about us ending up together. And that’s the funny thing about first loves; ones like ours are so passionate and fulfilling that the feelings never really fully leave.