Thank You Mom and Dad, From Your College Student

Thank You Mom and Dad, From Your College Student

I have the best parents ever, hands down.
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I try to tell my parents thank you every day for all that they do. But recently, I’ve realized that this is not enough. What I’m trying to say, is that ever since I started my college career, I don't think I’ve fully grasped the sacrifices my parents have made for me all these years. I hope that one day, I will be able to do all that my parents have for my children.

So mom and dad, this one’s for you.

Thank you for making me study and do my homework all these years when I certainly did not want to. Thank you for pushing me to take harder classes than I maybe could handle, and for believing that I could keep up with them. Thank you for helping me look at colleges and pick the right one. I had no idea how many parents just let their kids figure this out on their own. But you both were different. You took me on a tour of every school I was interested in, and even opened my eyes to schools I had never thought of. You encouraged me to apply, and even if I didn’t believe in myself, you both believed in me. You helped me with endless hours of applications, mostly when I had no idea what I was doing.

Thank you for working hard at your jobs throughout the years to help me have the money to go college. Thank you for planning for me so many years in advance, just so I wouldn’t struggle coming out. You never will know how much that meant to me. Thank you for sticking up for me when people question my major. You helped me find a path I felt comfortable on, even when I thought college may not be for me. People constantly ask me why I am doing what I’m doing, but you both know why. You both know my dreams, hopes, and fears and help me to accomplish and overcome them. I know that I will never fail, because I have you both cheering me on. And even if I do, you will help pick me up, dust me off, and keep on trying.

On move-in day my freshman year of college, I looked around at other families just throwing their kids into the mix. But you both didn’t. You made sure I had everything I needed to succeed, and you never stopped worrying about me when you went home without me in tow. You went to Wal-mart a million times during orientation buying me everything I could possibly need for my dorm. People may have thought we were crazy that weekend, but I felt so grateful to have you as my parents. Thank you for crying with me when things went wrong, and for laughing and smiling with me when they went right.

Thank you for letting me know you care about everything I do. Sometimes you may think you’re annoying me, but you never are. It means the whole world to me that you care. I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you for that, but I will constantly try my best.

Thank you mom and dad, for your love and support. You both are an inspiration and a blessing to me, and I hope that I am half the parent you are some day. I honestly could not do college without you.

Cover Image Credit: Emily Remark

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Mom And Dad, Your Differences Made Me Who I Am

They are two halves of the person I aspire to be — a thoughtful person, committed to excellence in each of her areas of passion, who is hungry to build upon the extensive base of experiences that she has acquired to date.

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My parents, the most important factors in shaping who I am, are a mosaic of juxtaposed perspectives, a tribute to the notion that "opposites attract." Dad once tried to explain their differences in the language of the Myers-Briggs personality inventory; his introversion versus Mom's extraversion, his thinking to her feeling, etc. Labels aside, the consequence of living with their differences was balance and an ability to place equal value on both breadth and depth in any aspect of life.

Nothing underscored competing for parental influences in our household better than the typical dinner conversation around the events of the school day. I'd usually lead with news of some test result. Mom would be quick to congratulate my good work while deflecting the conversation toward upcoming social events or some drama involving my friends. Dad preferred to discuss the specific problems I missed, even if 97% were correct.

Over time, I came to realize that Mom's seemingly dismissive attitude toward academic achievement was not meant to minimize its importance. To her, what went on in the world of human relationships beyond the classroom, was equally important. Similarly, Dad's insistence on reviewing every incorrect problem was not indicative of some ridiculously high standard of achievement. Instead, it was his way of communicating the value of always striving to be better and the importance of treating every mistake as an opportunity to learn.

Extracurriculars, like sports, were also illustrative of this household dichotomy. Mom would encourage me to join as many different activities as possible, just to give them a try. In the heart of the club spring soccer season, she'd sign me up for golf lessons, a charity 5K run, or volunteer my time to tutor a neighbor's friend. Dad cared more about mastery of specific sports. Quick to point out areas for improvement, he pushed me to excel through relentless practice and total commitment.

It was often difficult to reconcile Mom's push for diversification and Dad's push for focus, but I eventually realized that each was acting in what they perceived to be in my best interests. Mom wasn't tired of sitting on wet, soggy sidelines, she wanted me to have a broad range of experiences so I could find my true passions. Her mantra was that you couldn't know unless you try. Dad didn't push me to constantly practice because he expected me to get a soccer scholarship. Rather he wanted me to understand the work that it takes to achieve excellence.

Much to Dad's vexation, Mom often scheduled activities that interfered with practice times. We'd routinely go on vacation a few days early or to take a night off to see a play. Summer vacations were sacred and trumped any other commitments. The day school was out we would leave for the east coast and not return until just before school began. Lengthy absences meant leaving all commitments behind, including summer training seasons.

Dad never overtly opposed Mom's summer plans, but I knew he was troubled by them. Excellence required a commitment that was not compatible with being absent for several months each year. Mom was not against sports or the commitment they required, but she placed supreme value on the exposures and experiences that a summer of travel could offer.

Over time, I learned to live fully in each of my parents' worlds. When it was time to study or practice, I gave everything I had. Equally, I joined Mom's adventures, with eager eyes and a full heart. I learned that there is not just one way to be raised or a single way to approach a situation. I was never made to choose between competing views in my household, I was challenged to fully embrace each. My parents' perspectives are less conflicting and more complimentary.

They are two halves of the person I aspire to be — a thoughtful person, committed to excellence in each of her areas of passion, who is hungry to build upon the extensive base of experiences that she has acquired to date. I hope to be as deep as I am broad, to be extremely flexible, and to be comfortable in the gray areas between the black and the white. Like my Mom, I engage the world around me and am fed by its energy, and like my Dad, I am introspective and fully at home in the world of ideas.

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