Hey there beautiful,
You still look amazing as always, and I know you're doing amazing things with your life. Yes, I still keep up with you (as much as I can), and yes I still hope you're doing alright. You meant the world to me, and the love I had for you will never go away.
But I have to thank you, for cutting me out of your life. For leaving me by myself when I needed you the most. I needed that to happen. Of course, when you actually left me I never saw it as a good thing because....what person in the right mind would want to lose their best friend? There will always be a part of me that wishes you still knew my favorite food, or remembered our inside jokes. When I see you with the friends you have now, the ones that essentially replaced me in your life...there will always be a slight sting of pain. And it's because you truly meant something to me. Even when you stopped being my friend, I didn't want to stop being yours. I still occasionally look through our old pictures together, or our back and forth wall posts on Facebook. I feel like I should be sad...but somehow I can't help but smile.
But it's been a while now, and I've come to terms with you leaving (somewhat). I say somewhat, because I know no matter how much I try to turn the page on you...it seems like the ink from the sweet memories I had with you always make it to the next page. The only difference is back then, I carried your memories as a burden. Now I carry them as lessons, as memories. They're finally a part of me, and not something I have to constantly drag around.
I think one of the biggest reason why I'm so thankful that you let me go is because it finally helped me realize that while you weren't for me, someone...somewhere out there would be. I was right for you for a long, long time and I was so happy that I was, And now that I'm not right for you...I'm still happy. A lot has happened since you left, I'm not sure how much of me you keep up with, but there have been a lot of changes with me. You made me stronger. And it's strange because I never thought I could be strong without you. Because you were my outlet for everything. Every good thing that happened to me...every bad thing that happened to me, you were the first to know. Now, you aren't. But there are a few people in my life that are. I won't say I've found your 'replacement' because truth be told, you could never be replaced, but I've found people that haven't left me...and for that...I'm thankful.
I think another reason why I'm so happy you left me when you did is because if you hadn't left then, I wouldn't be where I am now. And I don't mean that in a rude way at all. I remember the day you said you wanted to stop being friends, I remember you saying "I'm happy with my life...now you need to go find your happiness somewhere else." And I remember collapsing on the stairs in my house, by myself...listening to the echoes of my relentless sobs. I kept asking myself, "why was I not good enough, where had I gone wrong?" But now I understand that I wasn't wrong. I was good enough. Just not for you. When you left it forced me to recognize that I was good enough for me. Yes, I was alone at the time. Yes, I didn't have anyone else. But I never realized that even if I didn't have anyone else...I still had me.
This last reason why I'm thankful for you...is a strange one. I'm thankful for you because I still have you. I don't actually have you. But I've got you in my mind, in my heart...and that's something not even you could take from me. When I pull out photo albums in the future to show my kids...and they see pictures of us, smiling and hugging, I WILL tell them who you are. I WILL tell them how much you meant to me. But I will remind them of what I learned from you...I will remind them that not every best friend you make in life is meant to stay. Not every best friend is supposed to grow old with you. Not every best friend is supposed to be your Maid of Honor at your wedding (even though we were completely adamant that we would be at each other's wedding, all that time ago).
You taught me that not every end is supposed to be an end, that sometimes you keep reading and you find a reason to finish the story. You were the reason I kept reading. So thank you. For everything.
I love you always,
Your best friend
