I don't miss you anymore.

I actually feel like a better person. I spent some time asking myself what could I have done to prevent us from falling apart, and I wondered what must have been so bad about me. I know I have flaws but I didn't think they were enough to drive someone into the arms of another being.

It took me a while to realize that I was taking this too personal.

There is nothing wrong with me and there is nothing I could have done to prevent us from falling apart. We were two different people who crossed paths but were never meant to remain together. I was willing to try and make it work, but with only one of us putting in the effort, I understood the true time stamp on our relationship: temporary.

That's when I recognized that my life is so much simpler without you.

And only God knows how much I wanted you to do a giant gesture to protest your love for me like I've seen in every novel and movie I've watched (serenading me with a love song, running into my lecture class and professing your passion for me in front of my classmates, or even just having the guts to come up and talk to me in person). And a small part of me will always want you to do something like that and as much as I hate to admit it, if you did do any of that, there's a chance I would run back to you.

But at the moment, I don't have any more tears left to use on you.

I spent so much time wondering if you came into my life because the universe has good and bad to balance each other and because my life was going great, I needed some heartbreak to balance everything out.

I thought for so long that if I didn't let anybody in, I would be okay. So when I finally let you in and you betrayed me, it did hurt a lot. And it's so ironic that I spent all this time building myself back up again and creating this barrier between myself and others but in an instant, it came crumbling down. It felt like I was playing with legos that just didn't fit.

But then I realized...I didn't die. I am alive and I am human, and yes I will be betrayed so many more times, but the beauty of betrayal is that in most scenarios, I can forgive and heal.

I want to thank you.

I want to thank you for losing me and giving me up so easily. I know I may not have been the easiest person to fight for but if you had fought for me, I don't know if I would feel like I do now. I want to thank you for breaking my heart because that pain I had to experience made me appreciate waking up to a family and a group of friends that love and care about me.

I may have had to spend some time on myself and self-reflect, but it made me love the person I am. My flaws and all. And I know that I'm not the epitome of perfection nor am I even remotely close, but there is no greater love than loving myself.

So thank you for not loving me because that let me love myself.