I don't always feel special and I don't always feel beautiful. I have days when I look in the mirror and stick my tongue out at what I see. Some days I don't want to put on makeup or fix my hair. Some days I just cry for no reason. I get all up in my head and create problems when there are no problems to begin with. I'm not always the nicest person or the friendliest, but I try. I'm not perfect by any means, but I also don't try to be. I'm aware of when I make mistakes and fix them when I can. So I have to say...
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for loving me even when I am completely broken inside. You could have run away and gone crazy and done something stupid, but instead you've stayed true to yourself and understand what you're really wanting. You've been so mature about everything even though you would like to kick and scream and punch something. You could be laying on the couch and refuse to move until your roommates have to finally pick you up and make you take a shower. You could be saying so many mean things and you could be a completely different person. But you're not. You're showing the love you need to show and the compassion you need to give out. You're hurting like hell, but this pain does not define you. It only makes you stronger.
Thank you for loving me when I have no makeup on. I don't wake up looking like a Victoria's Secret model or like I've just spent hours getting fixed up by a professional artist. But I think I look pretty damn good, even on my bad days. My skin is clear, not always, but it's something I can be proud of. I'm finally comfortable going out in public without it on, there was a point where I didn't think I could do that. I feel truly beautiful for the first time in a really long time.
Thank you for loving me when my anxiety gets the best of me. This one is hard to put up with. My mind goes into dark places and I feel like a huge boulder is on top of my chest. I can't deal with anything around me and I lose interest in what I'm doing. I have panic attacks, nasty ones that make me fall on the floor crying. They are not pretty and not easy to deal with, but I always get through it.
Thank you for loving me when I get angry and make no sense at all. Sometimes I come up with scenarios in my mind that seem like the end of the world and sometimes I overreact to tiny issues. It happens more than I would like and most times I just put those problems to the side and wait to feel awful later. I'll feel certain ways that come from places of fantasy and not reality. I'm not always the easiest person to deal with, but somehow I still stick to my true self.
Thank you for loving me. Period.
I love myself and I'm proud to say that. Perfection is not something I can achieve. I embrace my flaws and weaknesses and love my emotions. Even when I feel too much. I don't regret making the decisions I've made and I definitely don't regret loving who I've loved. Loving someone is a beautiful thing that should be cherished, and I have. There is a reason why things happen the way they do and, granted, I don't always believe that, but I stick with that. I believe in hope and fate and that the universe has a plan for me. I love the way I think and I'm proud of who I am. So I'm thanking myself for loving myself. You should too!
