Dear Dog,

Thank you for adopting me as your human and loving me unconditionally. While I did choose you as a pet, you chose me right back. I am forever grateful for your companionship, my four-legged best friend.

Thank you for always eating the food that I cannot or will not. Your ability to devour meat loaf and burnt toast is strikingly impressive. When I am too full to eat that fourth slice of pizza that I just had to have, I can always count on you to clean up the plate. Likewise, when I am struggling to human, and I spill an entire plate of spaghetti on the ground, you are right there to slurp it up before Mom notices. Another thanks for keeping that secret, too. I promise to never stop sharing human food with you even though it’s supposedly spoiling you. I love you, and I shall spoil you if I please.

Thank you for eagerly accepting the position of running partner. Rain or shine, you are always ready and willing to exercise. We both know how necessary it is considering the previous paragraph. I love food. You love food. I don’t love exercise. You do love exercise. You motivate me – especially when you tug on the leash with the force of a small elephant and don’t allow me any other options other than to run faster. Although my shoulders may one day need reconstructive surgery, I appreciate your efforts to keep me moving strong.

Thank you for teaching me the value of a shoe. Never again will I leave my favorite sneakers lying about so carelessly because to do so would be to invite naughty little puppy dogs to chew them to bits. Not that YOU would ever eat my shoes. Honestly, it was probably the cat, right?

Thank you for also teaching me the value of lint rollers and wet wipes. It’s not your fault you shed approximately 5,000 times more than the average dog. You’re just special. God invented lint rollers specifically for extra special canines as your self. I’m sure He also invented wet wipes just for you, too. Your enthusiasm for a nice mud bath is unmatched. After all, what is a puddle for if not for you to splash in, right?

Thank you for being my protector. Whether it is protection from the mailman, the pizza delivery guy, Grandma, the boyfriend, or even that suspicious looking squirrel in the front yard, I can always rely on you. While at times you may be a little bit too aggressive in the name of my safety, I do appreciate never having to worry about being kidnapped. Honestly, that squirrel really does creep me out.

Thank you for making me feel like the next Cesar Millan – The Dog Whisperer. While all of the neighbor dogs are struggling to master the art of sitting and staying, you are well versed in the art of rolling over, speaking, paw-shaking, and even herding. You’re brilliant. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different, not even Dad.

Thank you for never judging me. From the moment I wake up – rivaling a troll in appearance – to the moment I go bed, you love me without hesitation. Whatever mood I am in, you always find a way to make me feel better. If I am sad, you lick away the tears. If I am happy, you bark with delight. Your love for me is faithful and unending, and I am so very grateful for you.

Lastly, thank you for never ceasing to love me – no matter what I do. I have placed you in time out for trying to eat the cat, and yet you continue to love me. I have refused to let you sleep in the same bed as me when you were covered in dirt, and yet you continue to love me. I have forced you to run 6+ miles, and yet you continue to love me. I have gone away to college, leaving you, my best friend, behind, and yet you continue to love me. For that, I am both sorry and thankful. If there were a way to keep you with me at all times, I absolutely would. Unfortunately, I cannot, and I hope you understand. I love you, dog-child. You truly are the best friend I could have ever asked for. Thank you, again, for never ceasing to love me.

Chili, I’ll be home soon to provide you with all of the belly rubs and milk bones you could ever wish for. Miss you, pup!