Hello and thank you for joining us today. In this article you will learn how to effectively procrastinate. Learn to use these skills and apply them wisely, and you will always be using the excuse, "I do my best work under pressure, or not at all."
Trick #1: Find a Cute Fuzzy Animal
Note, it is important to keep the cute fuzzy animal around you at all times, for it helps you when you have distraction block (or in other terms, you are having trouble distracting yourself.)
Trick #2: Play Video Games
When you are unable to have a cute fuzzy animal in your presence, playing a video game alone or with your buddies is a great way to pass the time, and put off that homework which has been weighing heavily on your shoulders for the past month.
Unsure of what game to play? Well two great suggestions are; the new Pokemon Sun and Moon game for the 3DS, or you can have your mind sucked into the worlds of Fallout 4 or Skyrim.
Trick #3: Guiltily Think About All of The Things You Ought to be Doing
Keep in mind, this trick should only be used by professionals. Those who are new to the procrastinating world will find this as motivation to do work. Use this trick with caution. (This trick can also make you extremely stressed out, go consult your doctor to make sure you are healthy enough for this trick.)
Trick #4: YouTube Surf
Youtube is a great brainwashing tool for procrastinating. Not sure what to watch, well you can go to channel's like Honest Trailers, LittleKuriboh, Markiplier, and Cinemasins. (These are just a few, Youtube is full of wonderful channels and mind-boggling videos all for your procrastinating entertainment!)
(Though beware of the dark-side of Youtube, if you are not sure what this is....well, you will know when you get there, and if you never do, count yourself lucky!)
Trick #5: Eat tons of snacks
(Warning, this tip may go to your thighs.... consumer discretion is advised.)
Trick #6: Look at Your Phone Until Something Happens
This works twice as well if you compulsively hit the refresh button on all of your social media apps. Also, deleting all of the emails out of your inbox takes a lot of time too.
(This is not a good tip to use in class though... for obvious reasons.)
Trick #7: Do Yoga
Doing yoga is a great way to relieve stress and procrastinate. (Also, most people don't question you if they ask what you are doing and you say Yoga, if anything, they will applaud you and leave you to your business.)
Trick #8: Clean Your Room and Look Through Any Picture Books or Albums You Find
(This tip will not work though, if you are trying to procrastinate from cleaning your room.)
Trick #9: Reread This Article Again
That is what I'll be doing..... because, as this article is called; procrastinating, and I will just wait until next week to give you trick #10.... or I will just think about it and play my trumpet instead.
