Death comes by surprise, it creeps up from the darkness and takes the ones we love. Sometimes you have time to prepare for death, while other times it takes you by surprise. I am still trying to figure out which one is more difficult to accept. For me, my Grandpa was taken by surprise. He was there one day, took his last breath the next, and the unexpectedness of it all still has me speechless. However, if I still had the chance, I would thank my grandpa for these ten things.
1. Being a personal tutor to your six grandchildren.
I must admit I would feel slightly anxious when it was my turn to be quizzed on the math flash cards. Math was never my strong point, however, you never made me feel discouraged and guided me through each equation.
2. Giving me the greatest gift, my mother.
All your greatest attributes have passed down to my mom and I can't thank you enough. Your patience shows in her every day, as well as your gentle nature. My mom is my rock and without your parenting, she would not be the amazing person she is today.
3. Helping me discover my love for education.
You were a teacher, which makes sense that you had such a love for education. I am thankful you got to share that with us. All of us grandkids would line up with our report cards and show you them with the biggest smiles.
We knew whether we were showing you A's or C's you were proud of us, as long as we were trying our best. You were always the first person we would call with our academic accomplishments and it is because of your support that we have all found our own individual success.
4. Reminding me to always "rise above it".
You never personally got to tell me this, however, my Mom always shared this piece of advice with me that she got from you. Whether it be trouble with girls in middle school, heartbreak, school work, or other struggles, this saying always rings in the back of my mind. You always wanted us to be the bigger person and it has paid off on multiple occasions.
5. Donating to the broke college fund.
Every month, the college grandchildren would anxiously wait for their "Dede money," which was supposed to be spent on groceries. However, mine always went to clothing, but I knew you wouldn't mind. You always supported my love for fashion. You were also always the first to comment on how well I put myself together.
6. Keeping our houses stocked up with Freihofer goodies.
All the grandchildren knew that when they heard the beep from your car that the "Freihofer fairy" had arrived. With multiple bags in one hand and your other hand on your cane, you would walk to the door to make your special delivery. Our houses would then be restocked with corn toasties, bread, powdered donuts, and of course, the infamous chocolate chip cookies.
7. Your warm hugs.
You were thin in your older years but your hugs never failed to create a warm embrace. I could feel the love and sincerity in your hugs, your face would light up and you would say my name. I can still faintly hear your voice when I reflect upon the memory. Followed by the hugs was a kiss on the cheek that came with a slight scratching if you hadn't got the chance to properly shave that day. I could really use one of those hugs right now.
8. Understanding my anxiety.
Freshman year brought out a side of myself I have never seen before, from the stress, as well as being away from home. When I came home from college for spring break, I remember you telling me how proud you were of me because you knew what a difficult place I was in. You told me to just keep trying my best and that's exactly what I did. It is because of your support that I was able to finish my freshman year.
The last time I got to see you, you were able to tell me how proud you were once again, for finishing up and getting accepted into my new school. Then, embraced me with one of your warm hugs.
9. Showing me what 50+ years of a loving marriage looks like.
Of course, there were times that we witnessed your bickering, but you both loved each other and it was a special thing to see. You raised three great children together who then gave you six grandchildren. It is from your love that a secure platform was created for us all to grow from. Now, I know what kind of love I want when I grow old with someone.
10. Being my guardian angel.
I can no longer physically see you, or physically talk to you, but I do feel you. I feel you when I wrap myself up in your old flannels or when I go visit your grave. I still speak to you before every test I take and pray on the days that I feel I need your comfort.
Also thank you for visiting me in my dreams, even though I wish that wasn't the only place I got to still see you.
"Guardian angel pure and bright, guard me while I sleep tonight."
