This piece is a satire. I have no intention of offending anyone, this just a way to get people thinking about some social issues that are really important.
Teen pregnancy has been at its all time low, which means that there is something wrong with the way teenagers are approaching reproduction. If you are or know someone who is a teen in high school or college, then it is essential to pass on the following message:
IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT FOR TEENAGERS TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE BABY BEFORE THEY ARE 18.
The population on Earth needs to be increasing exponentially. There are so many available resources, but there are not enough people to use them up – especially when it comes to the availability of food and water. With the massive increase in the production of food, it is important to have more people to feed or else all that food will go to waste. It doesn’t matter that homeless people don’t have enough to eat, they can’t afford to buy it anyway and that’s okay because they choose to be living in the streets. They can manage to find scraps of food in the trash when they are hungry. Homeless people shouldn’t even be counted as a part of the population; they technically don’t even count because they don’t pay taxes or purchase anything from stores. We should, however, pay more attention towards teenage reproduction so that the new population can be fed the influx of food since it’s affordable and since they will have young parents who can pay to feed them.
It is important to have an increase in population so all our resources can be used up, but how does a teenager approach this? It’s simple: seek out a rich partner. As a matter of fact, it is not recommended to have just one partner; it is vital to get about three to four partners to ensure that pregnancy actually occurs. Sex is only as effective as one makes it. To ensure that pregnancy occurs if it’s approached while you are under the influence of alcohol or drugs; usually a few shots of alcohol or any black market drug works just fine. If you happen to find yourself in a situation where you didn’t give consent, it’s okay, just think about reproducing and making enough babies to use up the excess resources, so that it doesn’t go to the homeless people.
To ensure that teenagers are not getting rid of their fetuses, we need to make sure all the abortion clinics are permanently shut down. Teenagers are too young to make their own decision about killing their unborn children. If we don’t close the clinics, we will be teaching teenagers to become murderers from an early age and their children will end up just like them. At these abortion clinics, they kill babies and leave them lying around until rats eat them as if they were cheese. But with all of that food, the rats have the chance repopulate the world; but we don’t want more rats, we want more humans. This is why we should take away the opportunity for teenagers to murder their unborn babies and feed the rats. Otherwise, we will be living in a world full of rats and not enough humans.
However, if the baby is not wanted after giving birth, that is totally acceptable. The baby can just be sent to an adoption agency where they will relocate the child to either another family or a shelter. The environment of a shelter is recommended because it allows the child to learn how to find their own food from an early age. The babies will eventually learn that they need to go to school and in order to buy anything, they will need a job. Starting to learn how to do things on your own at such an early age should be encouraged. If they are fit to make it out on Earth, they will find a way to survive and if not, they will eventually die out. Babies need learn how to provide for themselves from an early age, unlike the adults who are useless and unable to provide for themselves. This is important so that we can have less homeless people in the streets.
