In addition to Black History Month and Heart Health Month, February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Teen dating violence "includes physical, psychological, or sexual abuse; harassment; or stalking of any person ages 12 to 18 in the context of a past or present romantic or consensual relationship" (source). Sadly, this may be more common than you think.

The National Survey of Teen Relationships and Intimate Violence results were recently published, and they found some harrowing results. Of the teenagers studied, two-thirds reported being in a relationship in the past year that was violent in one or more of the categories mentioned above. That's right, two-thirds. The researchers stated psychological abuse was the most prevalent, with physical and sexual abuses tied for the next two leading forms.

Why is this important?

Many studies have shown the lasting impact of violence, especially at a younger age. Teen dating violence has been associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Teen victims are also at an increased risk of pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), and are also more likely to die by suicide.

What do we do about it?

The conversation needs to happen. When I was growing up, Family Life did not teach us about safety in dating. We learned from an abstinence-only type of program that told us the horrors of contracting STIs and how dangerous sex was. But not once do I remember hearing what it means to be in a healthy vs. unhealthy relationship. I am not going to tell parents how to raise their children, but I do feel strongly that healthy relationship dynamics should be discussed during the Family Life curriculum.

Teenagers out to feel supported by their parents as well. It is embarrassing to talk to Mom and/or Dad about dating, but the more open parents can be with their children, the more they may be willing to share when they do start dating. It is also important because parents may be the first to see the early signs of an unhealthy relationship. Unfortunately, the deeper into the relationship, the harder it is to get out; having someone safe to keep an eye out on how things are going could help prevent something from escalating to a dangerous point.

Supportive Resources

The next step in supporting teenagers is to know the resources available. One of the main tactics in abusive relationships is isolation. When they are finally able to reach out for help, it is crucial to know where to turn. Here are a few resources to share with teenagers:

http://www.loveisrespect.org/ - they have lots of information about healthy and unhealthy relationships, hotline/chat/texting options, and quizzes to learn more about yourself and your relationships.

http://www.joinonelove.org/ - this is especially targeted toward college students and was created in memory of Yeardley Love, who was killed by her partner while in college at UVA.

https://www.breakthecycle.org/ - this one is also helpful for both teenagers and adults and how to bridge the gap and help each other.

Your local advocacy agency - I am privileged to work for a YWCA where I live, and we stay busy throughout the year trying to support and prevent domestic and sexual violence. Your agency may have services to provide specifically to teenagers, so please do not hesitate to reach out!