How Technology Has Killed Dating

How Technology Has Killed Dating

Dating does not exist anymore with this generation, technology is the main cause of it
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A few days ago, I sat down to watch a movie. I went on the HBO account to find the movie Brooklyn. Overall, it's about a girl, named Brooklyn, who immigrates to America from Ireland and how everything works out. She has to decide between two guys in the end. This all took place during the 1950's. While watching this movie, I saw a girl being courted by a normal, typical boy.

But after watching, the question arose: What ever happened to the dating scene?

When a girl meets a guy, the first step that always happens is "Can I have your number or snapchat?," or something similar in nature. Then the two start to text back and forth or communicate over social media back and forth. This happens for a few weeks, sometimes even months. This gets to the point where you've already had the conversations that would occur during a typical first date. People make the argument that this just speeds up the "getting to know each other" process. Maybe relationships like this is the reason why there is a much higher divorce rate because we always feel like we are trying to be efficient and rushing through those important first few stages.

During this movie, he actually called Brooklyn to ask her out on a date. These days, men just text the girl asking to hang out. What ever happened to a dinner date? What ever happened to having the courage to ask a girl out face to face?

There is no romance. There is no deep conversations where body language is an important part of the conversation.

Even when dating someone, I hear girls complain all the time about how their man will just text them to hang out. They just assume that they have plans, no wooing or sweeping a girl off her feet, but just a blunt text. While watching this movie, I noticed that even when the couple was going "steady" the guy still called the girl to ask her to go out., not just hang out. A tip for men: at the end of the last date, how about just ask the girl out right then? Girls, you can even do this. Today is a different time -- the man doesn't have to do everything.

Technology has played a vital role in matching via Tinder, eHarmony, Bubble, Match, Just Coffee, and other sites/apps. I have heard success stories of those using these sites, but there seems to be something so impersonal about this method. Tinder also tends to be just a way a person can find a quick date for the night, but not an actual dating. Even then there is some messaging component to it which is fine, but again lacks the personal dating component.

What is with our generation having to be efficient with everything we do including dating? Is this generation simply "living in the moment"? Is this dating style representative of the nature of this generation?

I understand the times are changing, and our generation has a different time constraints. I feel sometimes this is the lazy way or not going the extra mile. We have to accept change at some point, but is this something that really has to change?

Cover Image Credit: Washington Post

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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To The Friend I Rarely See Anymore

I wish you nothing but the best.

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When we graduated high school, we thought it was the end for us. The distance would ruin us and we wouldn't be able to call ourselves friends. Thankfully, you were my rock for the first year of school. You were the one I turned to when the adjustment was hard or when I needed someone to talk to and just listen. We never lost our connection for a whole year. We proved that nothing could pull us apart no matter how far the distance, no matter the different schedules. We were still best friends.

Another summer came and we only got stronger. We went on countless beach trips, late night hangouts, and Starbucks runs. I didn't even think it was possible to be this much closer to you than we already were. If we weren't together, we would Snapchat or text to never stop the conversation.

Now summer ended, we didn't think twice about losing our connection this time. We had a bond stronger than anyone could fathom. We once again went our separate ways and kept our texting and Snapchat habits.

But something changed.

It must've been the comfort level of sophomore year. It must've been all the new friends we got. It must have been the boys who entered our lives. We don't speak anymore. I haven't seen you since winter break. I haven't texted you since New Year's Eve. Our connection, one that was once thought to be indestructible, came crumbling down with sophomore year. I am not going to lie, sophomore year was the best of my life, but I knew you were missing the whole time. It wasn't the same without you.

I'm not upset you chose to focus your time and life on your new boyfriend. I am happy for you. I am not upset you spend more time with your school friends. I am happy for you. I am not upset you don't text me anymore and killed our streak. I know you're living a happy life. And I am too.

We may have gone our separate ways like we never imagined, but I am happy you are finally happy. Don't forget for one second that I will always be here for you. I will still always answer your text. I will still always be your shoulder to cry on even when no one else is there for you. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you're doing ok.

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