My Tattoo Is Teaching Me To Love Myself

My Tattoo Is Teaching Me To Love Myself

My thighs are now one of my favorite things about myself.
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Ever since I was young, I have always been fascinated by tattoos. Maybe it was the "emo phase" I went through in middle school and junior high, but I admired the people who had them and the variations of designs.

For me, tattoos were a form of expression and I just had to have one. Over the years, I'd had numerous tattoo ideas, but in reality, they never happened.

I got my first tattoo on my 18th birthday last year, and yeah, it was kind of spontaneous. I only really came up a concept for it a week before when I scheduled the appointment. I got a compass on my right shoulder blade since I was "taking direction of my life."

It is also true that when you get your first tattoo, you do become addicted. There is just something about the buzzing of the tattoo machine that makes my heart flutter.

Almost 11 months later, I've gotten my second tattoo. But this one has a more meaningful story behind it.

Since junior high, I've always had low self esteem issues. I've never liked the way my thighs looked since I have stretch marks and cellulite. I try to remain confident because "that's how God made me and I need to appreciate it." I have also been the "curvy girl" and I've learned to embrace it, for the most part.

However, I've always been in a love hate relationship with my thighs.

I went into 2018 being the year of self-love, and it felt like it was about time to start this goal.

For the past couple of weeks, I've thought a bit here and there what tattoo I want next and where to get it.

And before you come at me, yes I have thought about possible future careers. I do not believe tattoos determine the worth of an individual, but I know there are people that think those with tattoos are some sort of badass punk. I like to think I'm a little badass, but I am probably the softest person you know.

I finally decided on my tattoo early this month. A rose. I was going to go to one artist, but then I found Spirited Tattoo Coalition in West Philadelphia. The shop is a set up as a place for everyone to express themselves with no judgment. Since I was getting my tattoo in a very personal place, I wanted somewhere where I felt comfortable.

When I got there, the tattoo artist, Eric, already had a design drawn up. It was love at first sight and I knew I was destined to get it. I didn't feel that much pain except for the shading areas of course, but I knew it was all worth it in the end. About 40 minutes later, I finally had the masterpiece.

Now, the main reason for this tattoo is because I wanted to appreciate my body more. I figured if I got art tattooed onto my skin and if I can see the beauty of the ink, I can see the beauty of my thighs. I'm not saying for everyone that has self esteem issues to go get a tattoo. It is simply my coping mechanism, and it definitely helps. Since getting my tattoo, all I've wanted to do is show off my thighs. I'm not afraid of having my body photographed since everyone can now see my tattoo. I'm slowly starting to love my body all thanks to my tattoo.
Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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The Life Of A Curvy Girl Is Very Exciting

To every curvy girl out there, share your curves as a positive outcome to your circumstances

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Have you ever noticed in all the magazines, blogs, and TV it shows a thin size woman? In all the entertainment I take in, there was always a skinny woman. It brought down my self-esteem, and I would try to starve myself, yet it doesn't help. However, what if I was meant to be a curvy girl?

Before I go any further, I know that God gave me this body to take of it. But what if I was meant to be this size so, I can touch others who feel negative towards their bodies? For every curvy woman, you are so beautiful!!

Throughout my life, I wasn't thin. I had a gut. I had thighs. I was very unhappy with myself. Yet, I look at the expectations and what people will be happy with. But if there is one thing I realized, its that people are temporary. The naysayers in your life are not set in gold. They will push you to make sure that you're happy with yourself. I truly believe if people look at me weird, that means I'm doing an amazing job with not conforming in the world but transforming in the renewing of the mind. By the way, that's Romans 12:2 in the bible!

When it comes to the curves, I'm truly grateful for them. There are some positives to having a curvy body. For one, when it comes to wearing jeans, it shapes you well. The curves pop and the haters bow down! Other than that, I truly love how I look in jeans! Another positive thing about curves, its that there are amazing clothes for us! I was on Facebook the other day, and I saw a company called Dia&Co.; Dia&Co; is a customized clothing company for plus sized women which has all the styles. When I saw the clothes, I was truly amazed. The colors and the material of the clothes were truly special.

What defines beauty? Is it makeup or having a model's body? Is it buying the most expensive clothes as a statement? I'm here to tell you those are not the definitions of beauty. The true definition of beauty is acceptance. Accepting the circumstances, even if other people say so. True beauty is waking up with a smile on your face for living another day and finding your purpose in life. Beauty is being you!

To all of you curvy women out there in the world, you are truly a blessing. Thank you for standing out of the normal and taking a step to give others the courage to becoming their selves. I learned to treat my body with the utmost respect. I must learn to take care of it and embrace it at the same time. Psalms 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well." So, Instead of me being a worried progress, God made me a working progress, because all things work together for good.

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