When I was little, my parent’s always use to tell me stories about the people they use to date before they got married. My dad would always tell me some of the hardest, scariest, most nerve-wracking moments was taking that fateful journey to the ol landline telephone and calling up the girl he was into, praying that her father didn’t answer and actually asking them on a date. A trip to the ice cream store, a dinner date, or he if he was feeling really wild, a trip to the roller rink, were always his go-tos. Adding to that, my mom always told me that when she got a phone call from a boy, it was always the best surprise. That even if it was so out of the blue, so utterly random, she said it was simply the purest form of fun. I can’t help but be a tad jealous of my parent’s generation, not only because the 70’s and 80’s seemed like a heck of a time, but because of the moments I described above.
This past summer I heard Charlie Puth’s song, “We don’t talk anymore” and at first I was so annoyed by the song because it was on constant replay on the dang radio. But then I saw the music video and it was hands down the truest music video I’ve ever seen. It hit all the elements and feelings of what it’s like to stop talking to someone and put them into a video. Thus, I had a realization that the song was absolutely golden and unbelievably genius and it described a huge aspect of our generation.
“Dating” without titles isn’t really a "thing" anymore. Instead, it’s been replaced by "talking." I used to hate the term, “talking.” I used to be one of those hard-core, “bring back dating” kind of people. But eventually, I came to terms with myself and realized that dating, like when my parents were teenagers, isn’t going to happen anymore. It’s not anyone’s fault. We simply have too advanced of technology and too many forms of communication for it ever to be that way again. It’s a bitter thought, but it’s true. “Talking” is such a common word in our generation, but it’s obviously way more than “just a word.” When I say, “Hey mom, I’m talking to _______” even she understands what I mean. It means that I’m kind of into this person and that when they text or snap chat me I can’t help but get excited. Then the texts and snap chats start to come on a regular basis. Then asking if you want to grab some ice cream, go to the movies or even just hang out becomes a normal deal. You know the whole process; you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s well…talking! And after getting to know them for a while and hanging out with them a couple times you start to think, “Hey, I kind of like you.” Then from there, you actually consider dating them or… you stop talking. And you can’t help but be like… “wtf.” And then all the feels come flying at you like a flock of wild bats.
The feelings that you feel when you stop talking to someone are so hard to describe because everyone feels and deals with it differently. But I’m sure as heck that everyone can agree that it's easily on the list of “The top 10 worst feelings ever.” It's the ultimate form of frustration. There’s so much you want to say to the person but you can’t because you don’t want to annoy them or weird them out by texting them. There are times that you stare at your phone or keep checking it hoping that a text comes from them with just an explanation of why you guys stop talking. It’s such an annoying feeling because, most of the time, you will never know the actual reason. You just kind of have to accept the fact that whatever you guys had is over and move on with your life.
And after a while, once you got over the main blunt of the blow, you can’t help but wonder what their up to. So you subtly check their Facebook or Instagram in hope of finding out. Then you quickly exit whatever social media you're on because you freak yourself out, thinking you’re on the brink of being low-key stalker. (Do not lie to yourself, you have done this). Then after your brief freak-out, you debate on whether or not you should shoot them a text. But usually, you decide not to because they got over you and you need to put your big girl/boy pants on and do the same.
It’s impossible to not think about it. All those questions roaming around in your head. Wondering if they ever still think about you, if they ever stop themselves from texting you or if you could have just fixed one thing, if you guys would still be talking. Then all those dang feelings come back, remembering what it was like to talk to them and you can’t help but feel slightly crazy and disappointed from overthinking this whole dang thing. But not the type of disappointed you feel when you fail an exam or a quiz but the type that lingers around for a couple of days, digging deep into your chest. This feeling you want to so desperately to get rid of, but can’t because the only thing that can fix it, is time.
And the hardest part, the hardest part is simply realizing that the most obvious fact, that you two don’t talk anymore. Cause well, you don’t.
