On my normal “late” day, I walk from the Staten Island Ferry’s exit at Whitehall Street to Dunkin' Donuts a few blocks away. Normally I am accompanied by one or two friends, but on these “late” days I am by myself. It seems that on these days I am not only by myself, but there is nobody else on the sidewalks surrounding me; on a normal day, that is. On a not-so normal day, Wednesday Dec. 14, to be exact, I found myself face to face with my most intimate account of sexual assault.
A business man, primp, proper and handsome to most, cupped my goods in his hands with a smirk on his face. Without hesitating I turned around and punched him in the face, giving him a bloody nose. Most people would have run away, but I lingered for a while just looking at him thinking: “Why me?”, “Why him?”, “Why here?” ,“Why now?” and simply, “Why?”
Most people define sexual assault as any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. What happened to me on my normal walk is sexual assault, but many of the people I’ve been sharing my story with feel otherwise. “You were just groped,” I was told. The truth is, too many people undermine the definition of sexual assault.
On average, there are 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) of sexual assault each year in the United States. This includes but is not limited to forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling and attempted rape. I like to think of myself as lucky for being able to defend myself and get out of the situation unharmed. While the thought of the man who touched me still crosses my mind, I am now able to use my experience to talk about the serious matter behind it.
I recently did a social study on verbal and physical assault. Of all the participants in my survey, consisting of 100 girls aged 15-24, 95 were either verbally or physically assaulted. Most people verbally assaulted reported being so when walking on the street for leisure, walking by their home or walking by their school.
According to my research, there were more public instances of verbal harassment and there were more private instances of sexual harassment. This may be because in public, there is no boundary to what someone can say, but there is a boundary for what you can act upon, especially in crowded areas. In my research I was able to personally talk to a few girls beyond the anonymous survey, finding that many of them were able to open up to me and let me into their personal accounts of sexual assault.
There is no answer to the series of questions I asked at the beginning of the article. There is no explanation for girls being harmed so violently and so frequently. There is a way to end this once and for all. But I will continue working in trying to find one. Sexual assault can be ended with time, energy and awareness.
Prior to doing my research I engaged with a website called Hollaback! Its mission statement is, “From online to the streets, you have the right to be in public space.” The website is female empowerment themed with options to share your story, read other women’s story and donate to the cause. I applied to be a spring intern at Hollaback! but there are many other options to get involved, such as donating, finding events and searching other organizations of the same effort to be a part of.
To the girls reading this who have been sexually assaulted- it is NEVER your fault, I promise. I am here for you along with so many other people. .
