In our society, women are taught to stand against each other rather than to stand together. I have witnessed so many interactions where a group of girls attempt to build their friend’s confidence up by tearing apart another group of girls’ appearance. I don’t know why we expect boys to be nice to us when we, as girls, cannot even be nice to each other. Women have spent years trying to have the same freedom and treatment that men have had since birth. Now, women are trying to destroy each other rather than work together to make history.
I think one of the main occurrences that have caused this misguidance is the definition of what self-esteem is. Self-esteem is meant to bring about confidence that you can’t find anywhere except within yourself. But it’s turned into this feeling that girls want to take away from each other. It’s as if the women who haven’t found their confidence and self-esteem don’t want to be alone in that feeling, so they spend their time pointing out flaws in the women who have found confidence and self-esteem so that these women can feel just as low about themselves. It is our society’s fear of loneliness that has ruined so many young women’s self-esteem, because so many young women have this idea in their head that if they can’t have confidence, then no one should.
Beauty has such a negative connotation in our society. Whenever a pretty girl walks by, we inwardly -- or outwardly -- assume that she either has no personality, is a slut, or is a b*tch. Why is that? Have we really lost ourselves so much that we’ll be crude to a girl who has no power over her appearance, anyways? As women, we need to start focusing on building our own self-esteem by loving ourselves, not by belittling other women. We should also be reminded that beauty can be a description of the type of person we are, not just the looks we possess. Beauty can be found in the way we treat others and that should be the form of beauty we aim for. Make your actions good and beautiful -- the world will reward you in return.
I’m not saying I’m perfect and that I’ve never fallen victim to having negative thoughts about the girls who seemed to be perfect, because I definitely have. But that was until I realized that those negative thoughts and words spoke more of my character than they did about the girls I was talking about. You can build someone up without having to tear someone down in the process -- that was an important lesson I learned as I began to love myself and my friends. I learned that all my friends were worthy of being complimented based on how great they are, not based on flaws searched for in other girls.
No girl is alone in her desperate search for confidence and acceptance; everyone craves that sort of recognition. So why not search for it together with genuine compliments and smiles rather than searching for it together by destroying each other? You must love yourself enough to have self-esteem, that is what it is really all about. If women expect respect from men, we must first respect each other in our accomplishments and beauty. Every young woman is beautiful and smart and talented, even if there is someone just as beautiful and smart and talented as you are.
