Two weeks ago, someone on the radio asked me if I had made any questionable choices over the weekend ... why yes I had. No, I didn't "party too hard" or "get too turnt," I signed up for Weight Watchers.

Day 1: This really isn't so bad ... (40 minutes later) just kidding.

Day 2: What about all those songs about having a little junk in your trunk? Can I live my life by those instead?

Day 3: It's been three days and my stomach is still as white and doughy as a biscuit in a Pillsbury can. When do I get a six pack? And by six pack I mean a six pack of Coke because I hate drinking this much water.

Day 4: Dear Lord, lead me not into temptation but deliver me from cheese.

Day 5: I've been seeing things. Last night I'm pretty positive a bag of Dorito's came and stroked my hair as I slept.

Day 6: If one more person on a morning talk show tries to tell me it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle, I will pull my hair out. (Which actually may be beneficial because it could potentially make me weigh less.)

Day 7: Send help, I just ate an apple as a snack.

Day 8: I day dream about being lightly toasted and snuggled between two pieces of bread.

Day 9: Is it just me or is Weight Watcher's disdain and disapproval seeping through the app as I type in my ridiculously high food intake.

Day 10: I thought maybe having a summer internship would turn me into one of those business women from romantic comedies who don't have time to eat anything other than Power Bars as they shift from meeting, to conference call, to thinking about that guy they met in the coffee shop. Well ... spoiler alert ... it didn't.

Day 11: I find myself singing those female power anthems about how "you don't own me" to food. But the next minute I'm singing those "I can't live without you" Taylor Swift songs.

Day 12: I want to soak in a vat of the processed cheese they serve with chips at baseball games.

Day 13: Can people see that I'm dying inside if they stare directly into my eyes?

Day 14: Wait ... there's not a real person on the other side of my Weight Watcher's app checking to make sure I don't go over my daily calorie intake? In that case, I quit.