Over the course of the past month, I have had a lot to think about. What was I going to do with my life? Was I going to try another relationship and start over? Did I want to be single?
My last article was on a difficult topic and it was written in an angry state of mind. I didn’t give myself time to cool off and really think things through. I was mad and just utterly pissed off at the man that I had spent two years of my life with and being away from him was the best possible thing at the time.
As the days and weeks went by I started thinking about him more and more. I’m still in love with him and I have over 4 years of history with this man. Was my frustration and smothered state of mind keeping me from really assessing the issue? Yes, it was. Given the time to think and be on my own made me realize that I had made a mistake.
There was never going to be anyone else to fill his shoes. Even though there were troubled times we had a lot of good ones too that I will never forget. Lots of laugh and love were shared between the two us and instead of speaking up and voicing the thoughts that were going through my head, I ran. I decided that hiding from the way that I truly felt was better than addressing the issue at hand.
After weeks of being mad and trying to shove the feelings I had deep down to the pit of my stomach so I wouldn’t feel them I realized that I had made a mistake. When I voiced how I really felt almost two months ago now; It was December 16th. My initial thought was to just leave; everything would be better. I wouldn’t have to be overwhelmed anymore and I was free of the headache. I didn’t give him the opportunity to change. It’s like I fired him without giving the chance for improvement. I was the one at fault here. I basically listed all the things that were wrong and walked out, mic drop, I’m done.
Looking back now I realize that it was wrong. The time that I’ve had away in Georgia has given me the ability to see it in the bigger picture. I needed time away; a break and room to breathe. Him and I are speaking again and are determined to fix it. We both realize that we had let the lack of communication go too far.
We stopped voicing the things that we had problems with. We talked before, but it wasn’t about the serious issues; just the daily conversation that two people have while living together.
Now, we both realize how the lack of communicating can have serious damaging effects on a relationship. We have agreed to therapy sessions and weekly check-ins with each other to assess the condition of the relationship. I know that the ones of you who read my previous article are probably thinking that I’m as stupid as they come, but love does crazy things to people.
Advice for moving forward:
Sometimes a relationship just needs a break. Separation to think about the situation at hand and navigate it the best way possible.
Am I sure that this will work? Yes. Now that the problems have been addressed and we each know what needs to change I see no reason that the two of us can’t grow old together.
Remember, communicating can solve a lot of issues with a relationship and taking a break isn’t such a horrible thing either.