There's a moment in every girl's life that she will always remember that not only left an impact on her but her personal image. A moment where she never will forget the shame she felt.
How her skin crawled, heart stopped, eyes burned, and mind just shut down a little. It's a moment that can never be taken back and many times are never 'fixed'. We each live with a part of us that has been perfectly shattered.
I ask myself, why so many times are these kinds of moments so focused on our worth. That because of whoever, whatever, whenever we as women, as human beings, feel like a portion of our worth has been stripped.
Not only is that worth stripped from us, but we struggle every day to be able to ever build it back. Does it ever come back?
Will I ever be able to trust someone to tell me the truth. Will I ever truly feel entirely beautiful. Will I forever be scared that I am not enough.
Even though I wish I could be encouraging and tell how I have made it through the fear, I still struggle with this weakness. I have times that last a day to sometimes weeks where I just can't see the goodness in myself. I am incapable some days to let anyone love me, my family, boyfriend, or friends.
I hide beneath a smile and laugh somedays only so that I don't have to worry anyone. I know that I am okay, or will be later. I'm just insecure. I am insecure about what others say when I leave the room.
What complaints do I not hear about myself? I've been told that it doesn't matter what people think or say about me, but to me, it's the fear of what people that matter think or say about me.
And my insecurities didn't happen in one day, week, or even month. They happened over time through impactful moments. Moments others wouldn't even have noticed important, but to me were crushing.
What I do know is that together we as women and as people are much stronger than we ever imagine. We are able through support, love and time to make it through the hardest challenges as well as the smallest defeats that felt like a mountain. I know that through the support of the right people I will each day become more confident. I will become more self-loving.
I will each day find out how much I am more than enough. Self-worth is not inflicted or diminished, but only grown and expanded. You are the only person who has seen every page of the story. Each and every one of us is going to have a moment's that change that story, but we should never let these chapters define us.
