I have heard people call themselves better listeners than advisers, but recently, I’ve had a difficult time agreeing with that. I used to think I gave out adequate advice, but lately, it seems like I can barely even help myself. I have tried self-help books and venting to the people around me, but I never get a solution from other people. I’m beginning to think it’s because I already have a solution within myself that I don’t want to implement because I’m not sure how well it’ll work.

We make decisions every day — some good, and some not. But regardless of how positive or detrimental our decisions may be, we make them and we live with the consequences. These decisions can be small, such as getting a salad for lunch, forgetting a textbook in our dorm or they can be social problems that linger in our minds.

When we listen to others, we are not just listening to them talk. We’re processing their words and their concerns, and we begin thinking about that person and how they can relieve themselves of their unpleasant feelings. Sometimes we offer our advice, and sometimes we don’t. The point is that we come up with ideas for the other person to try to help them.

Not to be pessimistic, but we are not completely unique beings. That being said, we are also not completely alike. We are similar to others regarding certain social problems and emotions we feel. Because of this, we are able to relate to each other and share our individual experiences that share the same theme as someone else’s experience. We can help the people we love by giving them our support, but we can also offer our learned knowledge in efforts to alleviate their burdens, even if only by a little. Sometimes, just saying, “I’ve encountered something similar.” can make a person feel lighter just because they know that they are not alone in their endeavor. The simplest of words can be a silver lining.

Our advice can also come back to us. We often don’t take our own advice, and it may be because we don’t know what’s ahead of us — the consequences are unclear, and it may deter us from even trying out our strategy. But it is important to take our own advice. We know what we want, even when we don’t want to admit what it is. There is a part of us that knows what the best option for us is, and we cannot continue to ignore it. We need to utilize our thoughts and let ourselves take the risk of taking our own advice. It may not always turn out the way you want it to — you will have bad outcomes every once in a while. But you will also be pleasantly surprised from time to time. Treat your bigger risks as you would treat your smaller ones. Make the decision, and undergo the consequence. Either be happy with the outcome or learn from it. And if you do learn something new, share it with someone else. Alleviate their burden a little. What goes around comes around.